Hello! If someone has been single for a quite sometime and as a result, they masturbate a lot. Then, will it affect their sex life once they get back into a relationship? Frequency of masturbating like daily

Edit: Thank you guys for your comments.

49 comments

  2. Me an my bf had issues cuz he was jerking it more then fucking me I would be horny and he would want to have sex anymore cuz he already came. But I didn’t know that was what was going on and thought he was loosing interest but we talked about now we have a lot more sex

  3. I think so, because you would be making high expectations on your new relationship.

  4. Ya atleast once we talked about it, thing got better . He’s stopped materbating out of boredness which I think helped alot

  5. You can masturbate as much as you want just don’t use the death grip. Don’t hold it tight. I use two fingers only and barely touching it, just rubbing smoothly, without pressure. That way when you’ll have a partner you won’t have issues with sex. I also suggest you to watch Larry Wheels video on youtube, he talks about that. I think the video called larry wheels overcoming erectile dysfunction, and he has couple more videos about it, look it up on youtube.

  6. Try not doing it for a few months, not only will you buss massive, you’ll also notice your stamina will dip. Meaning 2-5 strokes you’re finished, it’s good to just get with a person, and keep jackin it to an all time low. Yes I sound like a no fap rep, but my personal experience It’s just way better when you don’t busts nuts all over yourself.

  7. i always had trouble finishing with another person, but i masturbated so much that i could finish myself in 5 minutes or less, but if i was having sex, i was going for at LEAST an hour, and that’s on the generous side. i could never find a solution the problem, but now i’ve been with my current girlfriend for 9 months, and although i still took an hour+ in the beginning, i now finish in about 15 minutes, and i still masturbate from time to time, but not nearly as frequently. my guess is that you’ll have a hard time finishing at first, but after becoming sexually comfortable with the person, and knowledgeable on each others sexual needs, you’ll be down to “regular” time.

  8. Once a day is usually fine and actually pretty healthy for your heart, so long as you aren’t being to harsh with yourself. The problem comes in when men prioritize it over sex or do it so much that they desensitized themselves

  9. It’s possible.

    I’ve noticed that I’m much more willing to seek partnership and be more “active” and “charged” romantically when I lay off for a little while. I’ve got a date coming up this weekend so I’m laying off leading up to it for that exact reason.

    I typically masturbate once per day but people are varied and nuanced. What is excessive for one person is normal for another.

  10. If you are a male who is masturbating frequently using porn then you are essentially training your brain to “get off” while watching other people have sex.

    This can interfere with arousal when you’re with an actual partner.

    The more one does this the more engrained it will become and can lead to issues with the quality of one’s erection.

    Another issue (as others have mentioned) is loss of sensitivity.

    Another issue is that a male’s dopamine responses are impacted. On YouTube search “huberman masturbation” for more info.

    Examples: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbCnr4gBjE and https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9qJHRvHU8IM

  12. You do it too much then your sex drive starts dying off because your always orgasming. I’ve had the same problem. Take break. Masturbate once or twice a week and allow your libido and your sense of feel go back to normal

  13. Masturbating once daily probably won’t affect your sex life much, however the habits that might come with it could.

    Masturbation out of boredom or out of depression can really mess up the reward patterns in your brain over time.

    Masturbation usually comes with pornography, which will set unrealistic expectations of sexual encounters with “real people”.

    If you masturbate right before sex it could certainly hinder your performance and lead to ED or problems finishing.

    Overall only you and a specialist can answer this questions in depth.

  14. Masturbation is not a result of being single, it is a result of too much masturbation, much like too much smoking is the reason of, you guessed it, too much smoking. Masturbation, and may be added porn, get you hooked by the same pathway in brain as smoking and cocaine do, sugar as well actually. So, at times masturbation is an okay way to let off some steam, it is just useless and repetitive in whatever it is. I got bored of the whole thing by the time i turned 16-17. But I didn’t know how to get rid of it completely because “it is an addictive thing and needs some decent amount of therapy, methods, and practice to get rid of”. You need to first of all be able to challenge yourself to not do it for at least a week. Then maybe for 15 days without much problem. Slowly your body and mind would stop looking for it, and your long term focus improves. This isn’t a breakthrough, this is just restoration to maybe pre-puberty self. Then you observe yourself getting interest in other things like exercising or eating or reading more etc. slowly you begin to feel to comfortable, so at ease and so “full of zest” in not jerking off at all. You’re not easily drawn to any girl, and you although admire their beauty, your objectivity is not lost due to “a certain uncontrollable desire”. Masturbation is a tool, you’re not a tool. Use it like a tool. That is all.
    Also, sex life is not affected. In fact since you engage in “self-love” lesser, you feel higher joy upon holding your partner or being close to them. You need to keep doing kegel exercises, squats etc. i am not saying don’t jerk off when you need to, am just saying don’t turn in to a wanker—driving your car around the town and working for Uber are two different things.

  16. Yes. Not only will it affect your sensitivity in the real act of sex but it can also affect your desire to have real sex and get intimate with a partner. Too much of anything is never good.

  17. no bruh i be beating my shit in everyday before every meal. btw I have no girlfriend…

  18. You shouldn’t masturbate till you get into a relationship after many years. Then, you can have sex two or three times per month ,at most, and masturbate the rest of the days.

  19. I definitely thinks it does , even a crush , or someone who you are trying to romance . IF YOU MASTURBATE AND THINK ABOUT THAT PERSON , IT WILL SERIOUSLY IN SOME WAY NEGATIVELY EVERYTHING .I have both experienced this numerous times . The women who I dated or was in a talking stage with , even my wife now , if I masturbate and think about her . Even if last night I just had the craziest sex and whatever you can think of with her , had her screaming and squirting whatever . The second I masturbate and think of her , we will fuss or some bs lol I’m telling you not to make you believe me or convince you . Idc . But too get this off my chest as a topic I daily think about and went on Reddit and seen this topic and poured my heart out .

    Thanks

  20. Im working through this with my partner now trying to masturbate less and be with them more

  21. Imagine that it’s cocaine and not masturbation, big difference but actually it’s more similar than different. When you experience some thing that releases dopamine into your body your body is rewarding itself for that behavior. You’re rewarding yourself your body is reminding you that it’s great it’s amazing you love it keep coming back to it. Unlike a drug for instant cocaine, rather than give you the minuscule amount by comparison, it floods your dopamine receptors also releasing serotonin melanin etc. what’s happening is you are developing a habit by definition. You’re teaching your body That this sexual experience because of frequency (obviously we know ourselves a lot better than our partner as well) frequency and give elation/pleasure you’re not exerting energy or effort other than physical no danger involved your brain is rewiring itself and you will get to a point where he is no longer able to satisfy you because that is what your body has become accustomed to. Men that are addicted to porn start to notice it becomes more and more difficult to get hard with their partner until they can’t in particular can’t get hardened anymore without porn. That is a legitimate diagnosis

  22. Here’s where I’m at on it:

    I just got out of a relationship where my mastrubation partially contributed to the relationship’s demise, amongst other issues. I hadn’t dated anyone for an unnecessarily long amount of time and by the time i got into this relationship, i was mastrubating daily. It definitely made her feel like she was less than attractive, which was far from the case but I couldn’t stop.

    Again, i really need to state that this was just one of many issues to stem from this relationship. I am ashamed that I let it happen when there was so much else i could’ve done. If you really love this person and they’re saying that your mastrubation is a problem, listen to what they’re saying. Take it from a guy who has literally ripped apart every facet of his previous relationship over and over and over, trying to piece together where it all went wrong.

  23. Yes absolutely. My ex had a problem with it and he ended up masturbating more than having sex with me.

  24. I mean one two times a day whatever no big deal three or four even nbd. When you start noticing that he isn’t doing it for you at all and the only way you can get yours is manually that would be the equivalent of a physical dependency and narcotic

  25. As a female thats been wirh other partners amd good sex life my current bf of too long mistreated more then he’s says I checked the wifi whatever call me crazy, it makes me insecure ans think there’s something wrong with me but he cums quick with me but I barley have sex like I use to literally miserable feeling bit al men aren’t like this too

  26. Masturbation daily or frequently ain’t too big of a deal. Just abstain for a few days or whatever you need.

    Now over indulgent pornography use I think is a different and more complicated issue.
    I believe there are repercussions for excessive porn use.

    30m here

  28. That’s good behavior new in behavior. We can all snap one out in record time two minutes three minutes or less he retrain his body

  31. Speaking as a dude who went a long ass time with no sex, to now having a regular girlfriend, I can say that my habit of 1-2 times a day has never changed. The only days I don’t are days when I have sex, that seems to “empty the meter” better. But otherwise I need the release or I get agitated.

  32. Yes 100% especially if you watch porn and extra if it is really weird and niche stuff. You need to detox.

  34. I find that masturbation in general is quite healthy, and it’s perfectly fine and normal to do once a day as long as it does not interrupt your normal functioning or cause distress. IF you get in this relationship, normal functioning for you may also start to include sex with your partner. If you discover that you lack arousal because you are masturbating frequency, you can decrease how often you masturbate. or you may find that it’s difficult to orgasm with your partner, which is also quite normal for both men and women (and NB).

    Many people continue to masturbate while in a relationship and it causes no damage. I’ve also heard that a lot of people masturbate less because having sex with their partner simply lowers their need for it. So I would say not to worry, and be open to changing your habits if you do run into a problem.

  35. Yes, it sure does. I’m dealing with this with my BF. I love him, but dang.

  36. Yes, not only will it affect your mental health but also slowly destroy your relationship.

  38. do you watch porn? if yes, do you watch it every time you masturbate? if yes, then yes. i’ve experienced that and it put a strain on my last relationship. i would go soft frequently while having sex. i’ve cut down a lot since then and it hasn’t been an issue with my current relationship.

  39. Absolutely. Almost ended my relationship. Having a dead bedroom at 18 is not normal. He’s stopped using porn entirely and cut down significantly on Masturbating and our sex life is normal again. However, once you go down that path with a partner, it can leave some lasting scars. I still have major insecurity and trust issues.

  41. You really should look into it more, it’s not really the masturbation that’s bad, it’s the porn that really corrupts your brain. That’s why it’s hard for you to stop because you’ve already started a pattern. So when you try to stop, you feel anxious or more irritated. It’s because your body is associating porn with the pleasure reward system. Your brain craves that release, so it’s asking you to watch the porn. Porn is easy and accessible to find so you’re brains subconscious associates it with reproduction, which is a very strong drive which is why it’s hard to stop once it’s a strong pattern. Overtime you slowly start to see porn as an easy way to reach orgasm instead of the difficulty of having to deal with a woman who is another human being. You should keep trying to stop now while you can before it gets more difficult.

    I would highly recommend a book “your brain on porn’, it’s not that long of a book but a lot of this needs to be explained in detailed like how it is in that book

  43. Yes can’t tell you how disappointing it is to try to get your SO in the mood, but then they are like oh I just “JO’d” Give me a bit. Mood ruined. Especially when they just get outta the shower and smells good oh they jo’d in there now we can’t for the next however long it takes to recharge.

  46. Yes. It definitely effects the relationship.

    When masturbation gets dialed back, and less of a priority, I have seen a direct correlation with the relationship suffering overall.

    When both partners masturbate when they aren’t together, that means their sex drives are strong, they can’t wait to see each other again, and I think the very best scenario is when they talk about it with each other.

    On the other hand, if the sex life is nonexistent, and the partners are masturbating on their own, what the hell are they doing together?

  48. I think masturbation is part of a healthy sex life. I think even during a relationship you should have your own alone time. I also don’t see a problem with porn but that’s just me. I don’t think a guy watching porn makes him less attracted to me. Now if you’re turning down sex to go in the bathroom and masturbate then okay that could be a problem, but as long as you’re still sexually active with your partner then what is the problem.

  49. Yes it completely affects your relationship. Doing it daily takes way from the actual enjoyment of sex.

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