Hey fellow bros. How did you guys teach yourself to stop worrying so much about what other people think of you

30 comments

1. When people fuck your mental health up enough, you stop caring automatically.

2. I worked with a lot of crappy people, criminals, homeless, and drunks/drug users.

   Hearing all those people abuse each other and say mean things to me over and over again becomes boring. They don’t have any standing – their life sucks, they aren’t anyone I aspire to be like, and they don’t know anything about me. Their words come from their own misery, not anything like experience, education, or even concern.

   Now, I just assume everyone is a terrible human with worthless words. If they prove to me that they aren’t terrible, then maybe I start to consider their words and opinions. Some of them are wrong, but I will listen.

3. I started off not caring, then caring, then not caring. Right now I’m at not caring. They don’t make me feel better. They don’t pay my bills. They don’t matter. Well , their thoughts of me don’t.

4. I struggled with this a lot when I was younger. I’m 30 now and still maybe do a little, but for me I naturally stop caring what people think the older I get. Partly because I’m more confident in myself and partly because I realize now how little it matters what random people think of me. I only get 1 life and it’s not a long one so I really don’t care.

5. After learning the practice of mindfulness I no longer care what people think about me

6. If I were you, I’d join a combat sport. Could be Boxing, Muay Thai, BJJ, or even a quality Karate dojo that focuses on the realistic aspects of fighting. You don’t join for the sake of learning how to beat people up, but for the sake of putting yourself in unconformable, and tiring positions voluntarily. High intensity exercise like combat sports is exhausting, and willingly showing up to them day after day, month after month, year after year will benefit you in ways you don’t even realize. I could go on about this for hours, but I’ll cut it short.

   Last thing I’ll say is if you have any mental illnesses that you need help with, seek out that help. But I don’t get that impression from you, simply having a mentor you look up to will benefit you greatly.

7. If you are on it, get off of social media. Get off of snap chat, instagram, twitter.

   So many people are so programmed to get likes and hearts and replies that their entire mental becomes caring what other think.

8. I did not grow up with guidance either and moved out at 17. It was the fact that these coneheads don’t pay my bills more as I fucking them. Once I realized that it was no big thing

9. I realized that the only time I need to give a thought to what people think of me is only in job performance in the work place. Remember thoughts do not cause harm.

10. I’ll differentiate between people i know and people i don’t know.

    People i know (and like): i care how they think about me to some extent. They’re in my life because we want to be in eachother’s lives, i care about them and they care about me. I don’t ‘worry’ about what they think about me because most accept me for who I am and i accept them for who they are.

    People I don’t know; i don’t care about them or their opinions because they don’t care about me and my opinions. They’re the NPC’s in my life, background characters, and i am the same to them.
    That is not to say I wish them any harm or ill fortune, but i just don’t care what they think of me.

    Having a kid(3F) has helped A LOT. In the sense that if my toddler and i walk through town and she wants to skip or run or whatever, i’ll happily skip/run/be weird right there alongside her. I’m a 1.90m big bearded bloke, people can look weird at me, i’m having the best time with my little girl and we’ll look weird all day long and I’ll happily apply that to most aspects of my life.

    Fuck’m and their opinions. You do you.

11. You can’t please everyone.

    Be polite and respectful to people until they give you a reason not to, then just ignore them.

12. I talked to my friends about some of my insecurities, and for every single one, the reaction was, “Holy shit! Really!?” Because i was far more critical of myself than the people around me were. Hadn’t really considered that idea until then.

13. I became self aware of what I wanted to place value on

14. 1. Accept that there are things that you can’t control, and instead focus on the things you can control and the things that affect your life for the better. Girl/Guy doesn’t like me romantically? Fuck it, I can’t control it. What I can control are these pushups that will get me in shape. What I can control are these books I read to level up my mind. What I can control are the places I go to where like minded people might be.
    2. Reduce social media. It’s impossible to eliminate, but try to reduce. I used to worry myself sick because I’d be looking at friends’ social media pages, watching them having a good time out somewhere, wondering why they didn’t invite me along. Instead, I could have just gone out and generated my own damn good time. I could have invited other friends out. I was too poisoned by the ‘Gram and had to put it down. The less I check it, the better I feel.
    1. As an aside to this, I often ask myself, “Wonder what Michael Jordan and/or Keanu Reeves are up to right now?” The answer is NOT social media. They are too busy winning, so this is the mentality I take now.

15. Best advice i ever got. “A persons opinions in general have to matter to you before you should let their opinion of you effect you.”

    I use to let everyones criticism, gossip, disapproving looks cut right through me. But over time i realized, not everyone has an opinion worth respecting. Some people can think poorly of me and thats ok. Because im doing my best out here, and when i fall off? The people who actually matter will tell me

16. It just kinda came with age

17. I think at some point you just realize not only can you not please everyone, there’s some people who literally will always complain because they are just trying to hold you back, it’s like you were seeking approval from someone who’s only rule is, don’t ever give approval.

    So then you start to ask yourself, what could I do if I just pushed myself. Not becoming an outlaw or anything, still operating with morals, but no more apologizing for offending people when objectively nothing you’d done was immoral or unreasonable. Just making my decisions and following through with hard work.

    But I think the key is realizing that in many cases the people you seek approval from they are usually losers of some form. Maybe not horrible people or anything, but not as successful as you are meant to be if you leave their constraints behind.

18. Takes time and maturity. For me it came with age and life experience. I hold myself to a much higher standard than anyone else does, so I don’t put thought into what people think of me.

19. I developed that way. I had a little brother who was viewed as more sweet and innocent. Teaches you pretty fast not to put much stock in the opinions of others.

20. Do your own thing. If you’re involved with your life and what you are passionate about, you won’t have time to worry about it.

    And, apparently, the gals think that’s attractive. And you will be on your grind, getting successful for yourself. It’s like…wins on multiple levels.

21. Live long enough and it’ll be on autopilot.

22. Ask yourself, why should you care? If they’re not family or close friends, in other words someone I respect in any capacity, I have no reason to worry about their opinions about anything.

    It also comes with age. At some point you just don’t…care.

23. Cultivate a group of friends and do stuff together. Hang out. Talk.

24. Practice saying nice things to yourself. Eventually you will learn that there is nothing in the dark and nobody cares about you or anything else.

25. Think of how you feel about other people in your casual/non-family day to day interactions.

    There. That’s how much they feel about you.

    “When you realize that no one really gives a f**k /
    When you finally realize, is when you start to get back up”

26. At around 50 or so I realized I no longer cared. Though I to dropped all social media except Twitter and Reddit.

27. I read Feeling Good by Dr David Burns, it’s a book based on cognitive behavioral therapy which focuses on changing your mindsets to better mindsets thus improving your mood and mental fortitude.

28. Not a guy, 54 year old female. Don’t worry about what over people MIGHT be thinking about you. They aren’t. They are to busy with their own life & worries about what other people think about them. It’s a strange vicious circle. Be yourself. Be your best self. Be kind to others & help if you can. Smile, even if you feel like crap that day, it does make you feel better & same to others.

29. I felt that way for so long man. 27 now and it slowly just kind of happens. Once you really really buckle down and start focusing on your future it will begin to happen. Just enjoy your life and aim for your goals. It’s all good to fuck up sometimes.

30. Have you *seen* most other people? They’re a bunch of fucked-up, shit-for-brains cunts who aren’t good for much else but compost.

    Why would I care what they think?