Question: which is a bigger TURN OFF when dating? When someone says they’ve been in 0 relationships, or when they have been in “too many” ?

16 comments

1. 0 is the bigger turn off. If they say they’ve been through too many yes it can be a red flag to some but initially I personally would think the person would have more experience on what they want, need and expect in a relationship.

   Edit:I should mention this is from the perspective of a 27F. When I was 18 and never been in a relationship myself I didn’t give a shit because I didnt know anything about them so opinions on this could fluctuate depending on what stage you are in life.

2. Try posting this in r/askreddit

3. What ages are we talking about here? Like Johnny 5, we need more input.

4. Men will likely say “too many” is the bigger turnoff while women will likely say the opposite.

   Gender roles are slow to change unfortunately.

5. To me (44f) it’s a bigger turn off if they’ve been in 0 relationships.

6. I’d say too many is a bigger turn off. Although either one isn’t too bad objectively speaking. There are valid reasons to not date at all as there valid reasons to end many relationships.

   The only reason I’d say the 0 relationships is less concerning is because the worst case is that they are inexperienced and will make dumb mistakes. While if someone has had many failed relationships, there might be a pretty nasty reason for that.

7. Neither, don’t judge someone’s attractiveness based off their relationship experience. Some people just don’t get an opportunity, and others throw their perfectly healthy relationship away for something they consider “better” in a perpetual cycle.

   Both can be potential red flags.
   Best bet is to get to know them as people and go from there.

8. I’d much rather date someone with “too much” experience over someone with absolutely none. However…

   …what would concern me is someone who’s just ***never*** single. Do they get out of a relationship and find themselves committed to someone else a week later? Is there often overlap? Are they just incapable of being happy alone?

   In that case I’d rather date someone green, but at 32 that’s still super concerning.

9. For me, it’s not necessarily the number of relationships someone has been in, but the gap between each relationship. If someone shows that they just can’t be single for more then five minutes, that to me is a turn off.

10. I say 0 relationships because I met girls who had no intentions of ever dating anyone, yet they were flirty. They’re mostly a tease, and it’s a red flag to me. There’s a reason why they never been in a relationship, and it’s because of them. And having too many relationships isn’t bad. Like I had a lot of relationships, but it’s because I’m trying to find the right girl, and sometimes things don’t work out. It’s a trial and error, so I understand.

11. Zero is the bigger turn off for me. It means

    1. Limited sexual experience and I’m almost at my late 20s. I ain’t got time to teach a man how to make me feel good. I’m also into BDSM and I don’t feel like going back to explaining the basics and the risks that come with that.

    2. Limited romantic growth. The few times I’ve dated guys with no dating experience they have been the clingy sort. Possessive, shy, unable to speak up for themselves in the relationship. Dating experience is how you learn how to be a better partner. I again don’t really have time to baby step someone into understanding that.

    3. If someone has reached my age with NO dating experience they better have a damn good reason for it. Otherwise I will assume that the reason is a huge red flag.

    4. In my experience, people with no experience also don’t always know all of what they want in a relationship. They have a romanticized idea of what they want but reality doesn’t work that way.

12. To be honest I never really ask about a person’s relationship history. So, I guess neither?

13. I (22m) hope 0 relationships isn’t the bigger turn off cause that’s me lol

14. I don’t care about neither

15. To judge someone based on what happened in their life, prior to you arriving, makes zero sense to me. You interacts with this person, the chemistry between the two, their behaviour going foward, that should be a focus. Whether or not you want to indulge in someone who as more or less “dating experience”, is your choice to make.

16. As a woman, too many is a red flag.

    No specific number but: a serial monogamist who CANNOT be alone. I can’t deal with that kind of clinginess, insecurity, and constant need for validation.

    A person with less experience may have a variety of valid reasons: chose not date during school, previous financial instability, cared for a sick family member, health issues, demisexuality or asexuality, etc…