My husband and I have been married for 8 years. We never really got to explore much sex wise because I got pregnant the day we got married (whoops!!). Now we’re two kids in and I am getting restless.
I’d easily say we’re about as vanilla as it gets, but both being mildly plus sized (dad bod, mom bod) makes the idea of even trying some positions hard. Additionally, I’m only 5’5 and he’s 6’4. I have long legs and a short torso and he has a long torso and short legs. So some things just don’t line up!
Anyways, I have a fairly dominant personality due to spending 18 years protecting myself mentally from a narcissistic mother and even after 8 years I just get extreme anxiety even thinking about telling or asking my husband what I want. I mean, just the other day we were in a Spenser’s and I was looking at cuffs because I like the idea of being cuffed and I about had a panic attack because I wanted so desperately to tell him I wanted a pair for him to use on me and I just couldn’t.
I love my husband and he makes me feel safe, but I’m always terrified he’s going to leave for someone better and/or hotter (that’s a me issue, not something he has ever done) and so I’m too scared to rock the boat.
I just don’t know how to communicate without feeling like he’s going to shut me down or I might have a panic attack and it really bothers me….
2 comments
Instead of you going first, you could pose the question to him and ask if there’s anything he wants to try specifically. If that doesn’t work, maybe write it down and hand it to him?
You could pose it hypothetically, so like ‘what do you think about people doing x..’