My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We met at college and live in the same city. He suffers from some mental illnesses and we haven’t had sex in around 8 months. He recently told me that he is not sexually attracted to me any more, but he that he wants to go to therapy to regain it. Is this possible? Since he told me this my self-esteem has been shattered and I find myself losing attraction to him. Are we done?
5 comments
Probably, yes. At your age, if you don’t have children together, I wouldn’t waste time trying to repair a relationship after a revelation like that.
It really depends on what you want and how bad you want it. You said he was having some mental issues – is he on medication? Is he actively seeking help?
Medication for a lot of conditions (especially mental health) can absolutely kill your libido. Could that be what he meant?
I am also a little more willing to give some leeway if they are actively seeking help. If the relationship is one worth saving, and they are actively trying to make it better, then that makes more of a statement than always putting it off until tomorrow.
Good luck with it!
>he that he wants to go to therapy to regain it.
Just know this means he wants to work on it. No one is perfect and life becomes stressful. You’re both 25 so not kids but you have to hear that relationships are not based on sex. The quote I used is to show that your BF is more mature than you in relationship experience. Let him follow through with therapy first then jump to this conclusion.
>I find myself losing attraction to him. Are we done?
You’re now pulling away when he wants to move forward with you. Maybe a break would help instead of a breakup. Some time to clear your mind. But with this limited information, it looks like you’re killing the relationship when BF is reaching for a solution. Again limited information = the commenter might be wrong about the situation. You need to take a step back and analyze the relationship to determine if you move forward as well. Good luck you 2. Figure it out before your 30 with a kid and not in love tho. It’ll be a lot messier then.
There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship that isn’t working anymore. It doesn’t mean the relationship was bad or wrong. It simply means it has run its course. Sometimes it is hard to do because you still care about the person, but it can be better to leave with good memories than hating one another.
Run, don’t invest more in a broken relationship