How do you stop caring what others think?

6 comments

1. ask you the question why you want validation from others. reflect your thoughts.

2. Still trying to work this one out.. but from reading into it is comes with age and if you’re secure in yourself, your decsions and your life.
   Say you really like chocolate cake and someone turns around to you and tells you chocolate cake is disgusting and you’re an awful person for liking it. You know that’s not true so you’ll continue to eat chocolate cake. You’re so sure about your opinion that it doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t like it.. You do and that doesn’t affect anyone else. That’s what matters.
   Now I really want cake..

3. You don’t have to stop caring what others think but you do have to consider their thoughts and opinions in the appropriate context.

   If someone doesn’t like something you do because it goes against *their* priorities and morals… well, that’s not really their business. You can weigh your actions against your own priorities and morals. Are you in alignment? That’s what matters.

   But if someone you respect tells you that your behavior is harmful to them or to other people, I think you *should* care and you should consider how to adjust your behavior so it’s less harmful.

   That’s the trick though. It’s OK to care about other people’s opinions, but think about them in context of your relationship wit that person.

   Example: If you are paying all your own bills, it’s nobody else’s business how you spend your money. But if someone else is paying your rent or you’re borrowing money from them – they do have a right to have an opinion on how you are spending your money.

4. When you realize it doesn’t matter that much. I don’t have specific context, so in general.

5. Most people are going to say it doesn’t matter, but it does. You need social validation so you’re not ostracized. It takes one differentiating opinion to be disliked and excluded. Doesn’t matter what it’s based on, if the majority doesn’t agree with you then most likely you will be persecuted for your thought process. You also need validation professionally, not just for your workmanship but also socially because securing lucrative positions involves some sort of social skills and ability to connect. You recognize this incredibly true fact about life, this is why it impacts you so much. Somewhere along the way or over a extensive period, you have experienced social persecution to the point of feeling a need to appease others over yourself in order for social acceptance. The problem is people pleasers usually are disregarded. People respect power. Not all, some of us really just respect others because that is the type of people we are but most of the world respects power, influence, and money.

   It’s impossible to not give a fuck completely. Even with all the influence, money, and power in the world.. To not have genuine connection is hard. Finding a sense of self and defending your idealisms is worthwhile but ultimately if you’re still not connecting after doing so, you will still question your worth. Not sure what the answer is because it seems like those who are sure of themselves, who don’t feel the need to exhort a sense of superiority through dismissal, actually are still pretty judgemental and/or exclusive.

6. Its weird there will be moments when I can do that then most of the time over thinking kicks in and start to get anxious..