Right now, I’m still in school and it has been hard adjusting back. I fell out of two friend groups I was in and I feel like I won’t be able to become close to anyone anymore. The people that I do know now, don’t hang out with me, ignore me, and make me feel sad.
I think the root of my problem is that I am not relatable. I cry everyday, I wear the same outfit everyday, I’m not smart, and I don’t have a lot of money compared to other people in my school. I think people now either ignore me or hate me. I think that I’m dumb and I’m not smart enough. I wish I had more money like everyone, I wish I didn’t cry often, and I wish I was prettier. I wish I had more time to do homework and be apart of other activities. I wish I was funny. I wish i didn’t have a big family. I wish I had more friends. I wish I was better than everyone. Because, I’m not and I never will be. I have nothing going for me.
I will give an example. There’s these two people that always talk about making plans to hang out with each other. Then, this person that I’m pretty close but wouldn’t consider them my friend. They randomly say, “We should all go to Starbucks, and maybe *my name* if they want to go.” I don’t know if I’m overthinking the situation, but it got me.
I don’t know if I’m being self-centered and that could be the problem. I really would like help. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and it’s been getting hard, lately.
1 comment
Hi! I have, and am sure a lot of other people have, been in the same boat as you. I tend to overanalyze a lot of interactions and always have thought about whether a conversation went well, if I said something awkward, if the other person thought I was weird, etc. But the truth is no one thinks you’re dumb or ugly or boring. It’s really easy to convince yourself that people think that, but it isn’t the truth. I know what it’s like to feel like you have nothing going for you. But you have so many years and days ahead of you. You have so many more people to meet that will make you really happy. You’ll have time to get good grades and take part in activities you love.
You should go to Starbucks with them. If you think that they make you feel sad and uninvolved, then you don’t have to hang out with them again. But if you’re happy to be with them, then that would be great.
I guarantee you that you’re a nice, likeable person. Sometimes it takes time to find people who you really connect with. In the meantime, try and meet new people. I know it’s cliche and can be really hard to do first, but joining clubs/groups that share the same interests as you is a really good way to meet people. It’s hard, but hang in there the best you can. 🙂