[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/11j0re1/myf20\_husbandm26\_slept\_in\_my\_room\_last\_night\_im/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/11j0re1/myf20_husbandm26_slept_in_my_room_last_night_im/)
hi hi. I’ll try to explain my situation to the best of my ability. I’ve been married for 3 years. It was somewhat of a forced marriage. We’ve had no authentic affection with one another. I feel like he’s been flirting with me. I needed advice, hence the last post. I still need advice. Sorry, I just really don’t have many people to talk to this about.
I was a little scared to ask him what all this is about because I do feel something for him and I don’t want us to go back to basically hate each other. I took that leap and asked him what all the sudden touching and closeness is about & if he liked me in some way. He said that he’d like to figure out what he’s truly feeling and even asked me out for Saturday night. I haven’t missed a movie night in ages. I overanalyze everything, so forgive me. We didn’t really get a chance to talk in-depth about it since he had to leave. At first, I liked the sound of it. Then I was wondering if it’s because he has no one to sleep with anymore and just needs female company. Then someone commented that he might be getting pressure from his family to have a baby. I would just like to hear your opinion’s on whether or not you think I should go.
8 comments
Maybe he felt uncomfortable with your age when you were married.
Sometimes, affection grows with time and he truly does feel something.
I’d take it slow and not allow him “marital rights” right away and have him get tested before you do, especially if he’s been sleeping with many other women.
Why don’t you date during your marriage? And quit over analyzing it and go with it. You guys know how to hate each other and since you’re married for life you’re stuck there anyway, so why don’t you make it a good journey a happy journey, a sexual journey, romantic journey.
Sex he wants sex. Why else would someone who doesn’t like you or have any affection toward all of a sudden turn on the charm? You are a means to an end.
ETA: You are in an arranged marriage wtf did you think your life would be like? You went along with the archiac idea, now you have to hold up your end of the bargain.
Go on the date. See if you have fun/enjoy spending time with him in that context. Good luck. Updateme!
I sincerely hope this works out well for you. Listen to your gut and your heart and try to have some fun. Wishing you the best
Maybe he is just a good man and does not want forced intimacy. Why don’t you try to think of one nice thing about him every day and tell him it? Even if it is just ‘You look very handsome in that shirt’. He might be very attracted to you but scared that you will reject him or you will feel forced to please him. No good man wants this.
If that works maybe he can do the same for you. Then after some time you will build a list of things you like about each other. That’s not a bad basis for a relationship.
Hmm, it sounds like your y looking forward to spending time with him – as a friend, if not a potential romantic partner. So I think you should go have fun!
At the very least, you should get to know the man you’re married to, and have some kind of partnership (but not necessarily romantic).
It sounds like genuine respect and understanding is the goal here. So focus on that, and play the romantic element on the fly if it happens. You guys have the time to play that as slowly as you want, based on comfort levels.
Sounds like fun to me.