Pretty much what the title says. Similar to my previous post, I’ve realized the majority of my anxiety is due to being scared my partner will be disappointed by the way my body looks and the noises I make during sex. I do trust him but I just want him to like my body and like every part of it, not “tolerate” it, if that makes sense. He has seen some of me but not everything because I’m just petrified he’s going to hate what he sees. Plus I’m awkward about making noise in bed even though guys say they like that about a girl. I feel embarrassed expressing pleasure so openly and it makes me feel vulnerable. Is there a way or mindset to overcome this? Do I need to just rip the bandaid off and let him see me? What do I do if he doesn’t like it? I know he won’t make me feel bad about it but I want him to actually like what he sees, not fake it.
4 comments
Yes, you need to rip the bandaid off. I can’t say I ever heard of a guy who became discouraged (or even disgusted) after a woman takes off her close for sex. If you’re still worried, keep the lights off the first time. And, don’t not (I repeat), do not lay there silent during it. That would be the true dealbreaker.
I feel this way every day, and I’ve been married for 9 years. My husband has never once shied away from me after taking off my clothes. It’s a hard feeling to overcome, but once you do, it will get easier every time.
If you are able, spend some time naked. Look at yourself in the mirror, lay in bed naked and watch TV, whatever you want, this will help you see your body as normal. Cause all bodies are normal.
As for embarrassment to express pleasure and feeling vulnerable, just try to keep in mind that your SO probably feels the same way. Being open and honest is the best way to be and feel confident.
Specifically about making noise: it seems like for most people it’s a good indicator of if what they are doing is good. I know personally if my partner just lies there silent and unmoving it’s about as big of a turn off as I could get from them. I immediately feel like I’m doing nothing right. Nothing should be forced, per say, but definitely if what your partner is doing is making you feel good make sure they know it.
OP…
I have a question for you.
My fiance Male feels like you do.
I’m ridiculously reassuring to him. Because honestly I find him to be irresistible. He thinks I’m crazy because he’s honestly disgusted with himself. I wish he could see what I see, plus his personality is an 11/10 for me atleast.
What are some things I can do/say to help because I can honestly say from my point of you it starts to feel like rejection and is a self esteem hit for me after awhile.
Even tho that’s not his intention obviously