So I am currently a high schooler without any experience in closer relationships of any kind, I won’t even mention romantic ones. I am also not particularly attractive physically. Since a few weeks though, there was a girl starting to approach me. Casual “hi”s, sitting close/next to me on breaks, smiling. I was ignoring it, as I’m not in a state of mind that would allow me to pursue even closer friends – huge difficulties with breakup of my parents, depression (which makes me overweight according to my psychiatrist) in a country with bad mental healthcare and complex health situation, whilst she is the complete opposite – semi-professional dancer, fit, attractive. Recently though I decided to peek into the doors I was closing in before and respond once. When she (F18, but in my country I am legal nonetheless) approached me once again, I responded and tried to carry on the discussion, but after saying “How are you, may I help?” (not exactly that as I am not English native) she just said “Oh no, no, everything’s fine, I just wanted to look at you” with a bit shyness. Next day I was the one to approach and the conversation went pretty well, we were talking about latest exams and test, but during the talk I’ve got an erection and just walked away feeling terrorised by my own body and that was the last time I have seen her – I got sick the next day and when I returned to school, she got sick as well. I had quite some time to think about it and I believe I would really use someone actually close to me – I don’t really have close friends, just buddies and parents care way more about divorce lawsuit than me. But is it really a healthy way to approach a potential relationship? How exactly should I play it out? Should I?
TL;DR: I have difficulties interacting with a girl I think has way more feelings towards me than vice-versa and not sure if I actually should have anyone close to me.
2 comments
I am not an expert, but it sounds like you passed whatever disease you had to her.
But seriously, try to send her wishes to get back to health. Be calm, don’t think about it too much and stay relaxed. Those sound like really good signs.
We cannot tell you if she is romantically interested in you or is just friendly. Sorry.
If you want something with her (friendship, more) you will simply have to be able to risk failure. There is no guaranteed path to victory.
And there’s no right or wring answer here. Try, don’t. It’s your life. You’re the one who has to live it.
If you want to be friends, just keep talking to her.
If you want more, at some point you ask her out.