I was at a trainstation and a person asked me if I can borrow him money for a trainticket. He allegedly lost his bag with his phone and wallet and needed to get home. He told me he was going to pay me back online and I gave him my email adress.
Im not this stupid, I promise. Half an hour later I thought about it and it was so obvious that he scammed me. I wanted to be nice and he was so charismatic. It’s like the rational part of my brain shuts off when I’m speaking with new people and so I got scammed really easily.
I feel so stupid right now. Is there a way to overcome this? I don’t think I can “train” such situations, can I? I’m thankful for any advice given.
5 comments
These people are skilled manipulators. Likely their whole job is about knowing the best way to scam people into giving them money It took being scammed in two separate occasions for me [edit; three], who’s naturally quite cynical to not get caught again (so far!)
At least it’s also helped me notice when ‘friends’ are behaving in a manipulative way.
A good rule of thumb sadly is to work on the basis not only that people asking you for things are lying, but also people telling a story about themselves which illicits an emotional response probably are too.
If someone wants to talk to me in a train station, I’ll normally just carry on walking and say ‘no thanks’; sadly 99% of the time or more they are after your money.
You’ll probably make bad choices that cost you a lot more than 50 euros, so I’d chalk it up to the price of a lesson in the reality of the world. If you could be bothered, you could report it to the local police – likely the guy is doing it quite regularly.
Why would you give him a full 50 quid?
You’re probably right that it was a scam, but the reason people pull these scams is that they work. Good con artists can be very convincing, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing to be trusting.
The best way to avoid these situations is to make an if/then rule. A good one is “if I’m going to give someone money (outside regular businesses), I pause and think hard about what it would mean if the other person was lying about some or all of what they told me.”
Look at this as a 50€ lesson. Expensive, but you’ve learned, and are unlikely to make the same mistake again. And you’re lucky – I learned the hard way to the tune of over $1000 when I was much younger. Hard lesson learned, but now I don’t loan any money unless I am okay with never seeing it again. In fact, I have *given* money to friends in need within reason, and told them not to worry about paying me back. But unless you want to give someone money out of the kindness of your heart, refrain from loans or sob stories from people begging.
You know what’s worse?
Recently I was scammed by a non profit organization, Doctors Without Boarders.
I’m super into persuasion and negotiation, all the tell tale signs of persuading someone were there. I went against my better judgment because of the earthquakes in Turkey.
I asked if I could make a one time donation of $5, however their cheapest option was $30 a month. After I put my information into the tablet I had an uneasy feeling.
At home. I went to the official, website and they had a one time donation fee of $5, they just scrolled past that to payment information when I donated in person.
Needless to say if anyone asks anything of me bpmy first reaction will be “fuck off.”