My (f22) new partner (m21) is a bit submissive and I really want to get better at being a little dom! In the past guys have always been the ones who are rough with me and usually take the control. I feel like it’s hard because I don’t have a penis and I’m not the one doing the fucking.. If that makes sense.
What are some things you guys like to do or has been hot seeing from a partner?
He’s also shared with me he likes more of a caring/ loving approach, so no dominatrix or mean teasing. I’d love the help!!
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This is useful thread about learning to dom: https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/zyaqum/dom_and_life_advice/
Sounds like he’s looking for gentle femdom. Which often uses praise and encouragement when leading the scene. Along with a bit of manhandling. For instance he’s might be triggered by a sexy sounding “Good Boy”
You can try things like runing your fingers through his hair, and then push his head down to your crotch for oral. Tell him exactly what to do and praise him when he pleases you. You can do the same with oral from face sitting.
Where you go from there depends on what the mutual kinks are. I would take a quiz like sexionnaire.com and see what the matches are. I would suggest each of you fill out the things you’d like to try at least once and explore from there.
> I don’t have a penis and I’m not the one doing the fucking
Depending on what you’re both into pegging could be on the menu. Though not every submissive guy likes anal play or pegging. The quiz will reveal off his dirty secrets though.
The first thing you need is a mindset change. Something quite simple to say, but perhaps difficult to get into; *”THAT penis, it’s MINE to have WHENEVER I WANT TO.”*
He WANTS you to feel that way about him. He wants you to realise that whenever you want a fill, he’ll be there, offering and keen to help.
And action wise, that is pretty easy to show. Gently push him down on the bed and get up on top of him.
Please yourself with him. Have him in if you want, or grind against him if you prefer. What you do, should be done because it feels good FOR YOU.
In nearly every instance, what you are doing FOR YOURSELF is also automatically doing nice things FOR HIM. Because, you know, your puss’ is magical in that way and when you have him in, you are BOTH going to like it.
So, start with that. The insight that you can have him whenever you want and nearly however you want.
If you are used to being under, this alone can be quite a mental hurdle to get over.
Ride aggressively, sit on his face and grind forcefully, pinch his ears/squeeze his head while he eats you out.