Hello all, I’m at a loss and need some input. I 34m am feeling very hurt and disrespected by my wife. We have two wonderful children 3yo and 1yo and my wife is currently on maturity leave. My wife works your normal 8:30-4:30 Monday to Friday work from home job that pays well but required an large initial pay cut, and expensive education which we happily navigated together. Due to only having one vehicle, wanting to save money, and being able to drop our children off at daycare (starts at 8:30 and is a 30 minute round trip) I took an afternoon shift that rotates days off (1-9 pm). This worked well for a year and I absolutely love the work, more than I’ve ever loved a job before. Understandably my wife has become overwhelmed with doing the evening routine by herself, so we made the decision to try and get me into a day shift. I have now applied and been offered 3 separate jobs that the managers have offered to work my hours around being able to pick up and drop off my kiddos. The down side is that I will need to use my vehicle for work (driving around and transporting clients) with compensation for mileage and the extra insurance. now for context I work in mental health and substance use so my clients are not always the cleanest and there is always the possibility of harm reduction materials falling out of pockets, although we have pre and post trip inspections to reduce this risk. My wife has flat out refused the idea of this happening (using the car, or purchasing a older vehicle to use for work) and has been quite vocal about how stupid she thinks it is that this is a job requirement. There are a couple jobs that work in a different area of practice (acute care/hospital) an area that I initially worked and loathed, but do not require a car. She regularly complains about my current shift and how much she needs me at home but has refused the options I have found. Today we spoke about another job I was offered that required our car but for a more stable clientele, she refused and asked why I can’t just work in acute care for our family. I feel like I have no say and that my wants are irrelevant. This makes me feel disrespected unvalued and unappreciated. But, there are two sides to every story and I’m hoping for some clarity from the outside world. Please help.
2 comments
She’s probably worried about those harm reduction materials or other things being left in the car that you have your young children in. Even with the inspections things could be overlooked and found by small hands. Maybe with her large pay cut she doesn’t feel comfortable with you guys buying another car and having additional insurance for it.
I do think she is being unfair by expecting you to take a job that you hate, but there must be a middle ground somewhere, no? If my guesses on her feelings on this are right then I get where she’s coming from but does she really want a husband who comes home miserable every day because he hates his job? Is there anything you can do at your company where you’re not driving clients in your own personal car?
I think you are leaving out a ton of details….