I met my boyfriend a year ago through work, for a few months we didn’t have any type of relationship outside work, we would just have chats that would end up lasting a really long time because we have so much in common. Though never spoken about, there was an obvious attraction and we had a lot of sexual tension. We started sleeping together around 8 months ago, I was very emotionally unavailable, it takes me a long time to commit to people, I expressed this to him immediately. He ended up developing feelings as we didn’t have appropriate boundaries in place (usually in this situation i keep it strictly sexual, i don’t spend any time with them outside sex- impossible as we worked together and knew each other in other ways). A few months later, I started developing feelings for him, he fell in love, he asked for exclusivity again, I agreed, things went well, now we’re in a relationship.
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Our relationship was built on sex, I get bored very fast (of everything, including relationships, sex makes things exciting for me and makes commitment easier), I also have a higher libido than him and can often tire him out, but he’ll always make sure i’m satisfied. We have only “officially” become an actual couple in the last 2 weeks and we only became exclusive about 5 weeks ago (we both had strong feelings before we entered a relationship) before that I was still sleeping with other people as we had no official commitments, he was not. We didn’t do the whole “dating thing” despite him asking me several times (we would hang out and grab food, or he’d make me food but this was never a “date” and i only let him hang out after we’d been sleeping together for a while), now that we’re together he wants to take me on all these dates, and i want him to do that, it’s fun and exciting and i’ll be getting to know him in a different way, but he wants to take it a step further and go a month with no sex.
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In past relationships, I have dated the person before (usually I don’t enter relationships with “casual hookups”- obviously this situation is different), however, because we won’t be exclusive i’ll be fulfilling my sexual needs elsewhere and avoiding boredom. This time i’m a little confused because it’s not like we can have sex with other people (I have never cheated, I would never cheat), i’m scared that not having sex with him will make me uninterested and bored, which will lead to me breaking up with him after building this relationship up for months. This man is so incredible, he is kind to everybody and a genuinely good person, he is exceptionally caring, he is hilarious, great in bed and absolutely beautiful. Before any exclusivity he was going above and beyond for me, and I just know that I will be able to love him. I’m not quite there yet but I have very intense feelings for him, i’m just worried about losing this momentum.
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Can anybody offer their own experiences with sex breaks? or the pros/cons? or just general advice for my situation? at the moment this is something that he has expressed that he wants to do, we haven’t made any plans and i have explained all of this to him and told him I want to think about it some more. I feel a bit silly saying all of this because i guess we could always try it? but I don’t want to commit to trying anything unless I 100% want to and will be able to
2 comments
Sex break = fasting -> good for a day or 2. Longer you go longer you get hungry. Plus sex is a part of life and unless it’s for medical reason why take a sex break?
I don’t want to rub you the wrong way, but it seems as if you are very savvy in terms of relationships of a sexual nature but not LTR (or not mentioned in your post). I’d bet it will be a great experiment about who you are, who he is, and how good a match are you sans sex. It’s only a month and you’ll have loads of fun the first days after the sex fasting