I’m not talking normal tension and release, like the area under my ribs get really really stiff and I can’t experience any sensation above it, like that area is protecting the electrical impulses to reach heart and head where is actually feels good. That’s why I could never finish even in masturbating I just stiffen up a lot and if I continue I cry (not out of pain but just spontaneous emotional crying for no reason). Not once have I masturbated without crying. Is this sone trauma response? Some long forgotten trauma that body remembers but not mind and it acitvates anxiety?
Now I have a bf and the first time we madeout I got the same anxiety, with just the. I told him that and he said he could feel me shaking. He said we will take it slow and now the anxiety comes but not immediately. I’m not sure if this is a trauma or kind of normal to feel anxious unless you’ve bonded with the person. Like my bf loves me a lot but I am still not completely in love so could it be that I am not that attached to him and rushing this? But I mean people do makeout without having feelings so I’m unsure what this is