Since my childhood I have always been appreciated for my talent in playing guitar and keyboard and I always had in my mind how can I impress others. That mindset of mine is now impacting negatively in Dating, communication and self confidence. I always in constant mindset of seeking validation and trying to impress others. What are some practical ways to get rid off validation seeking mindset.
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Do not shape your life around somebody else’s opinion.
Honestly there aren’t any practical ways of telling you what to do to stop seeking validation from others, you just have to stop.
Do whatever makes you happy and let that rub off on peoples, if other people like it, great. If people give you a hard time about who you are, they can fuck off.
Get results that impress other by default. That way you’re not hungry for that validation.
One way is to DO THE OPPOSITE. Instead of trying to get validation for yourself, starting seeking out what you can validate in other people, and do it an authentic way. Meaning, not cheap compliments, but really try to notice what’s special about other people, maybe even ask them what motivates them, what their goals are, what dreams they hope to fulfill, what hidden talents they possess.
This will help you connect with people better and, incidentally, will probably end up getting you some validation as a great socializer!
Gifted kids who have gotten a lot of attention in school also suffer from this.
I call it the craving brain. It always craves for validation as well as as any kind of mental stimulation.
I literally don’t know how to escape it. But recognizing the mental pattern when it arises is a good start.
I just got drunk enough to not give a fuck about anything, then memorized the mindset for sober me. Need a refresher every once in a while but nothings perfect
Validate yourself and focus only on that. Whole mindset will change
For me, this clicked when I realized that you can’t make everyone happy. Someone will always find something to pick at no matter what. I learned to live with this and started focusing on my own well being and no longer seek the approval of others
Make an inventory of all the things about you that make you who you are and all your talents are yours . Once you fully appreciate who you are and realise your gonna be your best Allie for a long time then peoples validation will not be as important .