Went through my (M26) girlfriend (30F) of 5 years journal and found out she may have cheated on me with her ex 3 years ago.

21 comments

1. If you want to stay with her then pretend you didn’t see it.
   If you think she cheated & that’s a deal breaker then confront her.

   You could always try to ask without confronting. Bring up conversations about exes, maybe yours, see how she reacts.

2. Yeah going through personal stuff is a shit thing to do.

   Whether or not she cheated on you is sort of irrelevant. Sharing a bed with an Ex? Not telling you anything about it at all?

   If it was me, I would be saying good bye to her.

3. Regardless of her .snooping like this isn’t cool.

4. Bluff.

   Just lead with ” I understand you had sex with your ex on ” insert dates”. Is this true?

   Blah blah blah …she denies .

   “Are you willing to take a polygraph test? ”

   It doesn’t matter if you trust a polygraph (only that she believes you do).

   Later to mess with her head imply her Ex confessed.

5. Yeah, if she cheated who gives a fk about snooping. Cheating is far, far, far worse Confront her about it.

6. Game over man.

7. Gah. First you admit to the snooping. Apologize. Admit you were wrong. When THAT issue is out of the way, ask her about screwing her ex.

   For all you know, she planted that info in the journal to see if you were reading them. If so, you failed.

8. So you don’t know anything at this point other than assumptions and that you don’t trust your girlfriend regardless of if she did or not.

   Honestly at this point just rip the bandaid and admit what you did and what you found. Your relationship is shattered regardless of the outcome so figure out if either or both of you can move past this.

9. >First of all, I am aware that it’s super shitty of me to go through her personal belongings but I was curious and honestly I do regret snooping.

   I think you should tell her what you did. Not because I think she did anything wrong, but because YOU SUCK. The poor woman

10. it’s difficult to trust

    not suitable for serious relationship

    run std tests

    You’re better off breaking up with her, she had no problem lying to you.

    she bed with ex and had eager, planned sex

    Now you know her character.

11. Yeah, going through her journal was a bad thing to do. Cheating is far worse. Anyone who acts like you’re *the* bad guy here is an idiot. My guess is that there was something about her behavior that made you not trust her enough to stay out of her journals. Probably her suspicious behavior regarding him when you first started dating.

    Either way, what’s done is done. You read her journal and found out that she cheated on you. Confront her, tell her you made the mistake of reading her diary because of your suspicions about them, curiosity got the best of you, you found out she cheated, and she needs to pack her shit and go back to her ex because she wasted your time.

12. it seems like you might as well expect anyone you date to cheat and not worry about it.

13. even if they didn’t do anything she still went behind your back. it’s a form of betrayal. cheating outweighs the snooping, but do be careful if you confront her she could use the DARVO technique on you.

    edit: spelling

14. You read a journal that apparently was left out where you could easily find it, next to other journals.

    You’ve got no reason to feel bad. If they were private/sensitive they should have been locked up.

    You’re young. I’d drop this relationship like a hot rock and look for a woman that doesn’t have a habit of sleeping with old boyfriends while they are seeing you.

15. Grow. Backbone. If she cheated in the past she will do it again. As soon as you get complacent or boring, she will cheat again. Stop simping for her and move on.

16. Ask her about what went on in LA and if there’s something she needs to tell you. If she deflects / denies anything happened, tell her she only have one chance to tell you the truth. If she still insists there’s nothing to tell, you can tell her then that you knew that she saw her ex and more had happened. Either she will tell you the truth (or at least what you knew) or not, you can decide from there if you still want to continue with the relationship.

    If this is me though, the fact that after giving an assurance that they stopped communicating, but still met him and joined her in bed for 2 nights, is enough to break up with her.

17. “One Last Time”

    “One Last Time?”

    “Just One Last Time”

18. Yeah, I would just tell her that the rumor mill is saying she slept with her ex during the bachelorette party, and you trust the source. get her reaction, but for me it still would be over.

    BTW….I don’t get how stupid people are to write shit down or text about incriminating stuff and save it. I don’t care if you think it’s safe or private. It always gets out…..

19. I mean, even if she didn’t have sex, you really gunna tell me you’re cool with her just sleeping with an ex of hers two nights in a row, *YEARS* into your relationship? I would have an issue with my partner having lunch with an ex alone, let along cuddling all night.

20. The possibility of them having a platonic sleepover is about as realistic as the Easter Bunny. You snooped because you felt something was off. If it gets to a point where you need to snoop to get clarity, then why even worry about going further with the relationship?

21. This is what you found. Scary is what you don’t know about.