TL;DR I’m sexually frustrated in my marriage. What can I do?
So I (32F) have been with my husband (36M) for 5 years and been married for 18 months. We both have some health issues that mean we can’t be as sexually active as I would like.
I’ve always had a much higher sex drive than my husband due to his health conditions diminishing his sex drive and libido. As such, its been over 12 months now since we engaged properly in sexual activity. There’s been bits of foreplay now and again but nothing more than a few minutes because he loses the will and the interest. Now, because its his health causing this, I would never, ever hold this against him.
However, because of this, I’ve been getting extremely frustrated as there’s only so much using your hands and a vibrator can do. I’ll fully admit that my eyes have wandered lately which I’ve admitted to my husband because I could never lie to him or go through with any sort of interaction with someone else because I love my husband with all my heart and I truly do want to spend the rest of my life with him.
I’m just looking for some advice really on what to do moving forward (we’ve spoken to the GP, etc. so that’s already in hand)
4 comments
I don’t think anyone would suggest holding his health against him, but were you intentionally scant on detail for brevity? I’m missing the part where, without holding things against him, you talked this out with him.
Either his health issues (vis a vis impact on sexual interest) get corrected/relieved or you live in frustration forever. At least until you reconsider staying with him.
How long has it been since you’ve both had a full medical workup?
Is he taking antidepressants? Those are notorious for decreasing libido.
Open marriage? He uses a vibratory on you?
Are the health issues causing his lack of interest temporary or permanent? Is it from antidepressants? Has it always been like this?