Caught my husband watch porn late night yesterday. I felt devastated. The fact that I did mentioned to him that if he wants to watch it, he can watch it with me. I just don’t like it when he is hiding it behind my back. Whenever he does this, I felt being cheated. Our sex life is always been me initiating it first. Sex is still good with him but I don’t like the fact that he doesn’t touch me unless it is sex. I did told him that my love language is physical touch. But what I felt the whole time is just me giving and receiving it very very less.
Would like to ask that if anyone experience this before or am I going crazy? Would like an advice/opinion from a husbands/wifes here.
16 comments
[deleted]
Not a marriage I’d be in
Yeah
I watch porn, but it’s different from enjoying sex with my partner. It isn’t cheating, but just satisfying an urge.
Ok I think there are two issues here. The porn thing doesn’t bother me. I watch/read it and I still appreciate my husband. I am sure he watches it but I don’t want to know what and when. I think the bigger issue is the fact that he isn’t affectionate with you unless the end goal is sex. I couldn’t live like that
Sounds like the affection bit is the real issue here, although I understand your frustration with the other stuff
Found out early in marriage my hubby watched porn and it really upset me like it did you at first. He said he would stop but I found him continuing to do it, as he was unable to stop. I finally gave in and said you can watch it anywhere except in the bedroom, whether I’m asleep or not home and he agreed. I told him unless of course we are watching it together. He won’t watch it with me though. I would like to say his porn does not take away from me, but I’m beginning to think maybe it is.
It’s a matter of boundaries. Some people will not accept porn in their marriage; my husband and I don’t consider it acceptable for example. But some people do, do you?
The main issue to me seems your unhappiness with your intimacy and love language.
Check out r/loveafterporn
Both my husband and i watch porn separately but it doesn’t affect our sex life. I work Mon-Fri and he works on weekends so if either of us have an urge porn and self pleasure is a just quick satisfaction.
It’s honestly nothing to take too personally but it’s worth a conversation how much he consumes/ prefers porn to actual sex.
Definitely, not even a question
100% yes.
Yuppp
I love my man watching others while having sex. I enjoy it as well.
Lift the unrealistic expectations and he won’t be violating anything anymore.
It sounds like the issue isn’t porn, the issues are that he withholds all physical affection outside of sex and he’s not expressing desire for you; you have to do all the chasing. I wouldn’t feel desired in a relationship like that.
You have to figure out if this is something he is willing to change, and if it’s not, if this is something you can live with.