TLDR: I met someone and was super available, super responsive and polite, took her on two dates and paid for everything, opened her car door for her and all the chivalrous things… then one day my texts just get left on read. Why?
Full story: I saw an attractive woman. I kindly introduce myself. I walk with her for a couple minutes to her car. I open her car door for her. She gives me her number.
I text her the next day and expressed interest in meeting up again. We set a date. We still keep texting and everything. Date night comes. I pick her up in my car on time. We go to a cool restaurant. We eat and have drinks. I pay. We then go to a karaoke bar. We order plenty more drinks there. We play arcade games. She’s shy but I perform. I pay. I take her home, get out my car, open her door for her, and give her a hug. When I hugged her, she told me how much fun she had and that she really had a nice night, but I felt like she definitely didn’t want a kiss based on body language. That’s fine, but I’ve also been on plenty dates where a woman def did want to kiss or even more. Part of me said hey she’s not that into you at that moment.
Fast forward. Next day we’re texting just fine. She re-iterates that she doesn’t know the last time she had that much fun. I let her know I’m def interested in seeing her again. We make a date. We text every day until that date – I send good morning beautiful texts, text throughout each day, send good night texts…
Date night 2. She drives herself. She meets me at my car, i tell her she looks beautiful. We pregame in my car, listening to music, having some drinks, then go to the bar and watch the game and chat. I pay for her drinks and food. Then it’s getting late so she tells me she has to go. I’m like cool, same (I had a big meeting in the mornin). I walk her to her car, open her door for her and ask her to drop me off to my car. When I get to my car I ask for a kiss… well I say “I can’t wait another day not knowing what those lips feel like.” -not the smoothest I guess… but hey we had plenty to drink and I wanted to show her I wanted her… but she says “not tonight, next date, well no promises, omg it’s more awkward now.” At that point, I knew she just wasn’t that into me. And if she was maybe I just blew it.
We texted for a few days after but I can feel the distance. She was not seeming as available, or being as responsive etc. last text I sent was a good morning text 3 days ago. Yeah she’s def over it. I’m proud that I didn’t text her again, but damn that’s a hit to my pride. Like, I have a great job, a nice foreign car, I’m super polite, I’m 6’3” and def not ugly… I dress nice, I pay for everything, I compliment her. And I don’t even get a text back???
There’s probably someone out there that she is wishing she could get more attention from yet I’m being ignored.
4 comments
Women don’t owe you sex because you’re tall and pay for dates. She wasn’t into you and there is nothing you can do about it.
Step 1: Recognize neither of you owe each other anything. Period. She doesn’t owe you a response, or her time. You don’t owe her a response, or your time.
Continue to realizing that it’s not about doing “the right things.” It’s about compatibility. It sucks that she didn’t tell you why. But, if she felt like she wasn’t attracted or that you were otherwise not compatible, or if she just was uninterested for any reason, that’s her right. On top of that, being in a relationship or going on dates with someone that’s not really interested, but just feels like they “owe” you, sucks really bad. It sucks for both parties, unless you’re just blatantly lying to yourself.
Maybe you made it awkward. Maybe she had already decided. Maybe she found someone else. Maybe she has literally any other reason to not be interested. None of it matters. This is the dating game, like it or not. Accept that it didn’t work out, move on, and try again when you’re ready.
If I’m honest, it could be that you were too nice and too good to be true.. maybe she was used to assholes and was not able to appreciate all of the things that you were doing. ( it could take time to get used to that )
But it could just be that you were just not her type.
It could be that she saw you as desperate and felt like it would be better to run. I think it’s better to not try so hard and be polite and gentle but not over do it. Specially in the beginning
It’s because you were pushing her for a kiss before she was comfortable/ready and FYI just because she dosnt kiss you the 1st 2nd or 3rd date dose not mean she isn’t interested. If she is still agreeing to go one dates she is still interested. Some of us women like to take things physically very very slow. I personally don’t like men to kiss me I want to be the one to kiss them.