I just ended a relationship with someone I thought I would live life together. We’ve had a lot of arguments this last month, we’ve done a lot of stupid things and now it’s all over. It wasn’t until I lost her that I really put in the effort to try to win her love back, and I think I’m an idiot for it. She really gave everything to me, supported me in everything and always wanted to be by my side. But now, less than a month after the breakup, she’s almost dating another guy, and she treats me like an unkown now, like what we’ve been through was nothing. And it kills me.
I loved her very much, and she loved me very much. She would never cheat on me when we were together. But now I feel like crap because there was barely enough time and she is almost in someone else’s arms, even though she said that one day she would marry me (cheesy I know). My self-esteem is so low right now, I’m probably being dependent and weak. I’m trying to do anything to get over it, going to the gym and stuff. But I have no money or energy to do much. And I keep crying for someone who already moved on. How to overcome something like this?
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i’ve just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago, i know how you’re feeling. feel your feelings, don’t set them aside. it is totally okay to cherish the good moments and memories you guys spent together but don’t fantasize on getting back together, it would only hurt you more. i know it hurts, but you’ve also got to realize that you’re not responsible for someone’s actions. sometimes people come in our life to teach us something but some people are not meant to stay, and that is okay. you’re not for everyone and everyone is not for you, trust me it gets better. take it one day at a time. i would recommend writing your thoughts, making cons and pros of dating this person and how they would make you feel. those are some things that have helped through this journey. stephan speaks on youtube also gives great advice. my dms are open if you need someone to talk to🫶🏽
Ok fella. I’m a 48 year old guy and I’ve been happily married for over 2 decade’s. I know what love is.
I’m going to say something you wont want to hear but it’s a hard truth and if you rip the band aid off now, you can really start to heal.
She never truly loved you and was never capable of truly loving you. You don’t move on from love in less than a month. You just don’t. no if’s or buts. You DONT get over it that fast. There’s a mourning period. She’s just moved onto another guy because she can. Just think about losing a loved one to death. A horrible tragedy we all face sooner or later. Do you get over that in a month..hell no and the same applies to dating. There has to be a mourning and healing period, something you are still very much in before you can move on and this girls actions prove she couldn’t care less.
Before I met my now wife I had a fiancé. A girl a I dated for 4 years and my first love (much to my regret). We argued and broke up in the last year of our relationship and then she ran straight off to another guy . Promptly came running back a few weeks later because he got bored and dumped her. I was literally destroyed and heartbroken at the time but she was begging to get back with me and like I fool I did thinking we could fix things but the sad reality is, everything was gone. Trust went out the window, my mental health suffered and it like a fool I actually believed she hadn’t been cheating on me before we broke up (she clearly had).
One day, about 9 weeks later, she didn’t call when she promised to (this being just before everyone had mobiles in the 90s) and basically called me the next day saying she got caught up up in a girls night out. Something inside my head snapped and I ended it there and then on the phone. Just said I never wanted to speak to her again and put the phone down. No explanation and she didn’t deserve it either. Why? Because I realised there and then I didn’t trust her and I deserved better. If she cant keep a simple promise then she was never going to keep a big one like marriage. As much as she’d been telling me all the sweet lies I was the love of her life, she never tried to contact me ever again and other than seeing her twice about town in the following year (to which she just gave a childish smirk) it was the best move I ever made. Didn’t feel like it or think it at the time but it was.
I took 6 months out, healed myself and processed it all. Friends said she was out partying with guys not long after. Whilst it hurt, it was truly apparent how little she cared. 4 years totally wasted and I was never going to be treated like that again.
Once I got myself back out in the field I met my now wife. The polar opposite in every sense and I found my true soulmate and the rest is history.
So do yourself a solid my friend. Remove her from your life. She didnt love you. Cut her off and cut her out of your life. Dont talk about her, dont think about her where ever you can and just take one day at a time. Heal however you need to heal. Take time for you and when and only when you feel ready think about dating again. It’s going to hurt but you will over come it and come back stronger.