Me (29M) and my wife (28F) married at the end of last year after 6 years of healthy and loving relationship. We had our ups and downs but our views on major values, hobbies and passions aligned. We had many good memories and fun days/nights together.
No emotional, physical abuse, alcohol use or any other similar things were present during relationship. Please note that several traumatic events (loss in family) happened in her life and she was under a lot of stress a work during 2022. I was trying my best to support her, but perhaps she expected different kind of support.
Several months after the wedding wife separated and asked to divorce me stating that she does not love me anymore and was dead inside/lonely for a while, even during our wedding. That I am not the right person to meet her needs. Even my friends are saying that whatever I say (especially positive words), she is turning to a negative perspective. In addition, some facts are changed to fit this divorce narrative or even stating that we were “rebound” relationship in a way.
Being separated for several months, she is stating that she feels alive again and she is enjoying life. Yet when I ask her if she is happy, the answer is no. She has been threatening to divorce several times now, but has not taken any real action (file papers, hire lawyers, sell our assets or take her things). She is not willing to try, go to therapy or do anything to save the relationship.
I’ve read through many topics in reddit where divorce happened in less than a year and most of those stories had some sort of critical event – infidelity, abuse or addiction. There are no financial or other benefit to gain from marrying and divorcing. Many people have stated that this could be due to infidelity but she is saying that there is no other man. I believe her. I am truly devastated, lost and deeply looking for an answer what happened… At this point, I am indecisive if I should continue fighting for us or start moving on.
Perhaps anyone have a similar story and could share it? Did you end up back together or divorced?
Any other ideas on what could be happening/how should I react would be truly appreciated.
Thank you, god bless you!
TL;DR: wife wants to divorce immediately after wedding.
3 comments
Kick her to the curb. Get the best lawyer ur money can buy and protect Urself. I would bet all my money that she is out getting some D.
Divorce. Even if she changed her mind. Because u would just be her backup plan cuz all the men she is out with don’t want her.
I’m sorry but she’s given you her answer in words and action.
Maybe you could hold out some slim hope that proceeding with the divorce might jolt her back into your relationship, but it’s unlikely.
Excluding another man, she seems to be in some sort of holding pattern. Enjoying her single life but still hanging onto marriage. You need to end that for your own mental and emotional health.
Maybe she’s waiting for you to act, to be the one to end it, but she ended it a long time ago.
Sorry. I wish you all the very best in a happier future.
I think there is something going on with her mental health. If she is not willing to try a therapy it’s more alarming. If she threats with divorce next time – say: Ok, let´s do it. Explain that it is not what you thought the marriage would look like. According to her response to this you can decide how to proceed. If she wants to stay with you insist on therapy. If she wants divorce, I think it’s clear that you cannot force someone to love you.