Is sex with condom really THAT BAD?

47 comments

1. Do NOT let guys manipulate about condoms, ever ever ever. If it feels so bad with one on they can go without sex and you find another sex partner who is responsible and respectful to you both by wearing protection. It doesn’t matter how it feels, what matters is not getting pregnant or a sexually transmitted infection/disease.

   No condom, no sex. Firm boundaries. People love to try to negotiate when they want something but condoms are not a negotiation.

2. For some men, especially those who are cut, yes it is that bad. Not being able to feel it + not finishing + having to explain to/console your partner why you didn’t finish and that it’s not their fault etc etc

   It’s just not worth it in those cases. You not wanting to have sex without a condom is a valid boundary, but them not wanting to have sex with a condom is *also* a valid boundary. It would just make you incompatible

   A vasectomy is permanent sterilization (in some cases it’s reversible, but not the majority) and should not be done by anyone who may want kids I’m the future.

3. Please stop reading stupid comments on redit. Would you listen to everyone on a street in a big city? No condom-no sex. Simple as that. Unless you are in a long term monogamous relationship and you are on a bc or he is vasectomised.

4. Not every guy is like that. Most would prefer no condom but will wear one because that’s the adult, responsible thing to do.

   Don’t second guess yourself! You deserve someone who will wear a condom without complaint.

5. Please don’t let them pressure you into having sex without a condom. They can express it all they want that they don’t like it and if they refuse to, then they’re not worth your time

6. As is the case with many things, it probably varies from person to person. I think it’s better without, but it’s not that bad with. I certainly wouldn’t prefer video games. If a guy won’t have sex with you because you want it to be safe, then I’d question how much he cares about you and respects you. Even if it’s not quite as good for him, I think it should be a sacrifice he’s willing to make if it’s important to you and he really cares about you.

7. I’m a woman, and I completely agree condoms suck. Like I despise them. But will use them at first until I’m exclusive with someone. But I have an IUD so not so much worried about pregnancy. That being said, I’d still take condoms over no sex lol. But they just really change how things feel. But any grown ass man who is a responsible person and not a dick will use them

8. [deleted]

9. Depends on what video game we’re talking about.

10. My wife stopped taking birth control years ago cuz it makes her feel like shit. That shit is poison. We use condoms to avoid pregnancy. It’s not ideal. But I’d rather get laid with a condom than not get laid at all

11. Is it worse, yes. Does it make it bad? Absolutely not. Great sex with a condom and shit sex without one are both perfectly possible

12. I am a woman and I can tell you I despise the way condoms feel so I can’t imagine how it feels for a guy. I’ve heard you can like touch your hand and put a glove on then do it again and that can kinda give you the sensation but I mean protected sex is best so whatever you’re comfortable with!

13. You can do what you want, but my suggestion would be to take care of your well-being and to not have sex with people who do not care about your well-being.

    I don’t wear condoms, but there are ways to do it and make it feel pretty good. Put a drop of high-quality lube (I am a huge fan of Sutil original formula) on the tip of the penis. When you put the condom on, leave some slack at the tip. Not an air bubble, you definitely don’t want that, just a little half-inch wrinkle of extra condom.

    Someone once explained on here how a condom feels different by comparing it to sticking your hand in oatmeal, then sticking the other hand in oatmeal while wearing a latex glove. Well now imagine you have a latex glove with a bit of oatmeal poured in, and you put it on and put it in the oatmeal.

    EDITED to point out, when I say a drop of lube, I mean a DROP of lube. Like the tiniest drop that will come out of the tube or bottle. It will not dry out. It is inside a condom and has nowhere to evaporate to.

14. Sex with a condom is better than no sex at all

15. I did get a vasectomy, I strongly recommend them.

16. I know a lot of people here are bashing guys for saying it, and I will probably take my shots for this, but in 20+ years, I have been able to finish with one, maybe three times. I am not saying everyone is like that, but that is the way it is for me, and was frustrating. I turned down a fair bit of sex because of it. I didn’t want to catch anything, but after some time, it just felt like a lot of work to no end. I even tried a grab bag of 4 or 5 dozen condoms to try to find better ones that would work.

    I ended up getting a vasectomy to solve the problem. Just make sure if you go that route, don’t plan on it being reversible. That is the first thing that the urologist said.

    I am really kind of curious why female condoms haven’t caught on more. I would be interested to hear from people that have used both types, and their experiences. I am guessing that much the same way the sensation is taken from a man with traditional condoms, it would do that for her, but I don’t know.

17. Women disproportionately bear the risk of unprotected sex. Do not let immature and selfish men manipulate you into not using a condom. If using a condom while having sex with you is so bad, then it’s his loss – there’s no need to have sex with him at all.

    My previous partner complained about this all the time and apparently his friends all told him that “sex with a condom is the worst.” Because me using birth control or inserting an IUD was for his bros to decide. That’s the level of maturity I was dealing with. With my next partner, who is actually much much more experienced that the previous guy, I was relieved that this was never even a subject of discussion. No complaints at all.

18. I don’t like condoms so when my wife gave birth to our youngest child I got a vasectomy. I used to use them but when you’re in a long term relationship with other forms of birth control without condom is infinitely better to me.

19. >“ I would rather play a videogame than having sex with condom”

    Women, you would be doing the human race a favor by never sleeping with guys like this.

20. No, not exaggerating. Between sex with a condom and video games I’d choose video games. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set boundaries, but anyone telling you it’s just as good is coping hard.

21. I have zero issues with condoms. Sometimes I even like to roleplay and wear them with my partner, where we took them off long ago.

    I do know some men struggle to maintain an erection with one on. I’m not one of those men.

22. Every man is different. I never had a condom interfere with my enjoyment of sex.

23. I prefer masturbation to sex with a condom. I’d do Jack and Jill with a GF before sex with a condom. I’d be unable to orgasm and maybe wouldn’t maintain an erection. Of course, if the GF wants PIV, I’d do my best and try it.

24. Ok so I can give you the boring and resposible answer but I’m not here for that.
    I will give you the real answer
    Yes, yes it is.

    Especially if you had a relationship, that you were used to having raw sex. If you put a condom after years of raw, it feels completely different and almost no pleasure at all.

25. I honestly don’t feel like it made a major difference in sensation for me. I have a vasectomy so don’t really bother using one withu monogamous long term partner anymore. We did early on though and I honestly don’t feel like it made much difference in how pleasurable sex was

26. Have you tried female condoms or VCF? Honestly, unless you are in a very committed relationship condoms should be the norm. It is the safest option.

27. I personally would rather play video games than use a condom lol. But I have the benefit of being in a long term relationship and would always use one if I was single and hooking up with someone for the first time.

    “Just get a vasectomy” isn’t really a viable option for many because they’re not always reversible.

    It’s a shame the burden of birth control falls on women because if there was a male birth control pill I’d be on it immediately.

28. >why wouldn’t you just get a vasectomy!?

    Because you want to have kids someday. Vasectomies are not reliably reversible, despite some claims on the Internet.

29. Yes. It’s horrible. I’ve gone through long periods of abstinence just to be in relationships serious enough for unprotected sex.

    Edit to add : I’m a woman

30. It’s not THAT bad, but it’s not THAT good. And when you know something THAT good is right around the corner, it’s THAT bad.

31. lots of people in this thread assuming that because something is ok for them that must mean it is ok for everyone.

    Newsflash – not everyone is the same!

    for some guys condom sex is no different from bareback, for other guys it’s worse than bareback, but still great. And then for others still sex with a condom is basically impossible. there are a good number of guys who simply cannot maintain an erection with a condom.

32. I am a woman and I HATE sex with a condom. I feel like it dries me out and it just doesn’t feel as good as “skin on skin”. That said, I’d rather have sex with a condom than no sex and I imagine men feel the same way.

33. A vasectomy isn’t always reversible and the odds of it being reversible get lower and lower with time (and I don’t mean a couple decades, more like a handful of years). Being cut into is also a bit of a frightening prospect is all. Just as women shouldn’t be made to feel bad for not wanting to use BC men shouldn’t be pressured to get a vasectomy.

    I’m not sure how old you are but you sound very young, inexperienced, and in your own head (which I’m guessing is why a lot of the comments I’m seeing are asking you not to let men pressure you, you come across as very vulnerable). Just as you saying that you don’t want to have sex without BC wouldn’t be anything against him, him saying he doesn’t want sex with a condom isn’t anything against you. It’s irresponsible and short sighted for sure on his part.

    There is another factor I don’t see being addressed all too much, the reason a number of guys don’t like sex with condoms is that are using a lot of ill-fitting ones. Penises don’t come in standard sizes/shapes, every guy is different so buying cheap gas station condoms will very likely not feel great. Using condoms that are too tight or unproperly fitting can restrict blood flow, cut off sensation, and make it really hard to maintain an erection. But one that is too loose can slip off easily. There are companies that make condoms that are better fit for guys, it’s definitely worth looking into and I advice bringing it up with future partners when the topic comes up.

    But what concerns me more is your thoughts, why is his short sighted priorities making you feel insecure? Why are you thinking of his ex partners? (they are ex’s for a reason) If he doesn’t like condoms and you don’t feel comfortable without them then move on, there are more responsible guys out there. It’s not anything against you and fact you think it is concerns me and others replying because it makes it seem like you would bend on that boundary to keep him happy.

34. I can’t really stay hard with a condom for long. I can’t really explain why, but even when single I wasn’t up for one night stands so it was never an issue for me

35. Imagine taking a shower with a raincoat on.

36. No, it’s not. I’d definitely rather be fucking with a condom than playing Call of Duty or something. The feelings are less sensitive, but honestly I never felt okay having sex without condoms until I was in a committed relationship with a woman on birth control. Wondering if you’ll wind up with an unwanted pregnancy, genital warts, HIV or some other crud isn’t conducive to relaxing or sex for me.

37. A better reaction would be something like: I’d rather 69 for an hour than have sex with a condom.

    Or: I’d rather engage in mutual masturbation than have sex with a condom.

    I mean, yes it has an impact, but it’s not horrible at all. If it’s a dealbreaker there are many other things that can be done aside from PIV.

38. Wearing a condom gives me ED. Multiple occasions I’ve had to stop mid passionate make-out to fumble around for a condom and awkwardly put it on, by which point I’ve often gone soft. But I’m aware it’s the adult responsible thing to do to wear one and this is my problem to solve not anyone else’s. But not gonna lie and say I like them.

39. Sure, for me it does make sex noticeably less enjoyable, I really wanna *feel* my gf’s insides, and from what I understand it makes it worse for her too (I would only agree with the videogame comment if it was really shitty sex in the first place *and* I had a condom on).

    You know what would really be unenjoyable tho? Having kids by mistake with someone you’ve know for less than a year.

40. I liked the comparison of petting a dog or cat with a glove on your hand. However, if you can find the right condom (and make sure to put a little bit of lube in the condom as well) you can get it to like 95% of what it should feel like without one.

    Edit: Then again, if you apply the same logic to seeing a total solar eclipse, well, unless you experience 100% totality, you basically missed what it is to experience a solar eclipse XD

41. Sex with a condom is not *that* bad! I think what you are hearing is extremely arrogant men obsessed with their own pleasure exclusively and displacing the responsibility of birth control on to women. Rather play video games?! Wow…

    I have been in a relationship for over like 13 years and for 8 of those we continue to use condoms without any eye rolling from me. The type of condoms you use makes a huge difference. Use Lelo’s condoms. They are the best in the market.

    I always try to convince my guy friends to use condoms and let their girlfriends get off the birth control. Women are held to a really unfair standard in this department. And condoms have *obviously* like 99.9% less side effects for men than birth control does for women.

42. I do have some thoughts, but before I say how it feels, the more important thing is where you draw the line. You absolutely have the right to choose the way you have sex, and you shouldn’t let men gaslight you into not using one.

    So, I’ve only had penetrative sex with condoms, but I’ve used a lot of different types of condoms.

    The best condoms are incredible. They are so thin that you still feel all the warmth and wetness of the vagina. Have you ever been cleaning something, and felt something clammy or nasty through your gloves, then took off your gloves and realize that your glove was intact? Modern ultrathin condoms are a hell of a lot thinner than gloves.

    The worst condoms are pretty awful. If they’re too tight, your penis will feel constricted and clamped. If they’re too loose, it will feel like you’ve got a bag on your penis. If you’ve got a penis which is bulging or tapering or otherwise unusually-shaped, they can be both at once. Also, even ultrathin condoms are not designed to work with your foreskin; you pretend that your penis is one unit, without a sliding sleeve at the end, when you put on a condom, so the condom will hold your foreskin in place and prevent any natural rolling motion from happening. There are plenty of condoms which are so bad, or so bad for me, that I can’t cum while wearing them.

    But sex while wearing a condom which is even close to the right fit is still pretty awesome. Through a modern ultrathin condom, I can still feel most of the contours of the vagina, its wetness, and the places where it squeezes. I still get most of the parts of sex besides the sensation of penis-on-vagina: the feeling of having my partner’s body close to me, of helping giving them an orgasm, of penetrating their body. It is annoying that I have to withdraw and take off the condom immediately after cumming rather than transition to cuddling with my dick still inside, but I can still cuddle afterwards.

    Maybe I can’t answer, since I can’t compare. But even though condoms which are bad or don’t fit right aren’t great, sex with a condom is pretty great on its own terms.

43. A vasectomy is a surgical procedure, so there is risk involved. Not generally life-threatening risk, but things happen. As surgeries go, however, it is very low risk. Not zero, but very low. The comparable procedure for women, a tubal ligation, is *much* more risky. My vasectomy was done with local anesthetic and I was awake the whole time. Virtually pain-free besides the emotional and psychological damage done by having to listen to my urologist try to do small talk while tugging on my junk. Tubal will require general anesthesia, stitches, and recovery.

    It is, however, permanent. Yes, there are clinics that do reversals. You should not count on that being successful, and any reputable urologist or surgeon will tell you to consider it to be permanent. So if you’re considering children, even much later, you don’t get one. Period.

    As for condom vs no condom, of course sex without a condom is better. A guy who refuses to wear one because of how it feels is a putz and should not be laid. Sex without children is way better than sex without a condom. (I am sure the phrasing there could be better.)

    If you do not wish to have bareback sex, don’t. Your boundary is both reasonable and valid. You have no obligation to compromise on it. There’s no discussion. Wrap it up or don’t fuck. There are non-BC reasons to not just use but insist on condoms; the risk of STI transmission while wearing a condom is vanishingly small. A worthwhile dude respects that. A shitbag does not.

44. It feels marginally worse but really not that much different. I have a dick and I refuse to have sex without a condom now because of an sti scare when I was 16. The peace of mind is makes sex for me way better. For refences this is based of my experience with men because I’ve never has sex with a woman without a condom.

45. Funny enough a lot of men these days in their twenties are doing just that, playing video games instead of having sex

46. Ok, so I’m not condoning my actions by any means here, this is just my take on this. And yes, I know I am an idiot and flame me all y’all want.

    In the last 17 years, I’ve worn a condom maybe a handful of times. When I first started having sex for the first year, from day one, no condoms. So that’s basically what my brain thought was how it should feel, at least that’s what I think happened. So when I did have to (begrudgingly) wear a condom that handful of times it sucked and I was not a fan at all.

    That being said, I have contracted an STI twice in that 17 year period (Nothing a few pills didn’t clear right up), so obviously I can’t say I’ve been 100% clean but looking back over my experiences I am SO lucky. If you’re in a committed relationship, both clean then obviously your risk is fairly low but for the love of god just be safe.

47. Female here. I think it depends on the guy. I was seeing a guy who didn’t mind putting one. He did without having me to request it. Wish all men would be that way. & to be clear, best sex of my life 😂