me (20f) and him (22m) have been close friends since last april , we tried it back then and i messed up by going back to my ex and we stayed friends though we still liked eachother and went off with other people all year. this year since about december 2022 had decided to try again. we established that we weren’t seeing/talking/sleeping with other people although we were not exclusive yet since being in a relationship isn’t the right timing right now. but he goes out and never really talks to girls or much less takes them home, everyone of our friends and i knew this so i trusted him and never had a problem with him going out. last night though he got really drunk and ended up taking a girl home, my friends called me since everyone knows our situation, i was on facetime with my bestfriend and i got to see him with the girl from the club with tears in my eyes and i just asked him why he was doing this. he hung up and proceeded to leave with her back home. i feel absolutely broken since i thought we were on the same page finally… he never does this but last night was apparently the night… and his birthday is tomorrow, i was supposed to go out with him and his family. we haven’t talked yet today and i’m not even sure if he knows i know or anything. i just i feel like that was the last straw and i wish he would apologize, but he’s not that type of person anyways so it’ll probably just be a ghost situation. should i just leave him alone for good now?
3 comments
You don’t know what you have until you loose it. You say you were not in a relationship, but if it’s been like that since December and it is March now, maybe not taking the next step caused this? Maybe he was always un-loyal?
The questions you need to ask yourself is if you talk again would you 1. Take him back? 2. Trust him ever again? 3. Ever go into more of a serious relationship?
It seems like you guys need to figure out what you actually are. This was destined to happen at some point, but the whole not dating and being mutually exclusive doesn’t make sense. Your either together or your not. Even if you were friends with benefits that can only last so long until one of you decides to pursue something with each other or with other people. “situationships” are not sustainable.
It seems like you’re trying to find a reason to justify you continuing to be with him because you want to. If some or most people say it isn’t cheating, you shouldn’t go based off of that. Put yourself first and ask yourself, do you want to be with someone who causes you to feel that way? Someone who put you in that position to begin with? Someone who is never on the same page and isn’t treating your emotions with care?
When someone likes you, you’ll know and you’ll feel secure in your relationship because they’ll make you feel secure. They won’t want to give you any reason to leave them. They’ll treat you the same way you treat this guy since you like him. Wish better for yourself and surround yourself with people who treat you as well as you treat them