Recently me (24F) & my boyfriend (24M) have come across a little road block in our sex life.
Whenever I’m on top, sex is great. But doggy style & even sometimes missionary hurts me. It feels like a pain/pressure in my stomach. I guess it might be him hitting my cervix? But either way, I don’t want our sex to become boring to him & then he’s not satisfied. Is this a feeling you get used to? What can be done to ease this? (He definitely is well endowed).
4 comments
When my husband hits my cervix, he’ll adjust himself a bit, (his dick while inside of me) or I’ll move my hips a bit till I can feel he’s no longer on it, and it typically corrects the problem.
>Doggy & Missionary Hurt
Don’t do doggy or missionary. Problem solved.
If he’s knocking into your cervix that hurts and I’m assuming your BF does want sex to be painful.
When sex is painful, people lose interest in sex and if they’re not telling their partner what’s going on, it creates anxiety and frustration, both of which are bad for the health of a relationship.
So tell him “you’re going too deep in certain positions and we need to figure out how to avoid that.” That is *super* reasonable. If he gives you a 🙁 then he’s saying “my pleasure is more important to me than your comfort.”
I’m assuming you’re not dating an asshole though and therefore, he’d want to find a way for *both* of you to enjoy sex *comfortably*.
I can also practically guarantee you that if the roles were reversed, he’d say something about “hey, this position is painful for me.” So advocate for yourself just as he would if he were in your shoes.
Larger guy here. Things that I’ve found make a big difference :
* she does WAY better if sex starts slowly and we take quite a while going shallowly before I go deep. There is no sudden change in depth – before I go the full 8, I’ve been going 7, and before that 6, and before that 5, etc. If I really want to go all the way in, it’s going to take at least 10 minutes of PIV working up to it. This doesn’t always work.
* you may find that the prone position means he simply can’t go as deep into you (because of the angle and the position of your butt), but it will feel like just as much work to him and likely the same depth, though he may not be able to feel your cervix or feel like he’s bottoming out – but I’m not clear from your post it he’s going for that.
* angling yourself differently (hips and upper body angle) can help a ton in doggy
* depending on whether your legs are outside of his or between his in doggy, it can impact how deep he’s going and the angle.
* over time it can get easier – this was a much bigger problem for my wife early on, and got easier as years passed, though it’s mostly about not having suddenly sharp pain.
* depending on you desires you could ask him if he could try to be less rigid. I got good at this with one ex because it was the only way she could ride me or handle most positions.
* you may find it’s different at different times in your cycle.
* one GF found that if she used a big dildo on herself first for a while, or was working herself with it while going down on me, that it eased everything up and gave more room and made it easy to take me.
* a vibrator can make it a lot easier.
* finally, ask him to chill out. I’ve only been with two women who found it easy for me to really pound away. Everyone else I just have to be careful, or spend a lot of time warming them up – and usually still have to be a bit careful. Most have adapted to just being a bit careful.