Maybe it isn’t called that but to me it seems that way…
He stated that he wants me to talk to any of my male family infront of him.. I think that is dumb and stupid… So, I mentioned that he needs to do the same for his female family.. He said he doesn’t know why he has to do that for so I mentioned the fact that he wants me to talk to my male family in front of him so he needs to do the same.. He said he won’t because it is different.. I stated , how is it any different?? He said because he can’t trust me… I told him then why is he with me if he can’t trust me… I am frustrated at the fact I ihave to talk to my family on the way home if I want to talk to them.. I am not going to talk to them in front of him when I want to talk to them… I don’t have anything to hide but some times he isn’t anywhere to be seen so I am not going to go find him when I want to talk to them…
I know he already tod me that women shouldn’t have any rights and we had a huge argument over that topic.. I did tell him that he sound like a sexiest man that needs to re-evaluate his life. If he felt this way then he needs to divorce me. He changed quick when I said divorce…
Am I wrong to feel like he is playing a double standard roles?
27 comments
He sounds like a tool? If you stay you’re going to have these kinds of conversations and have to deal with his behavior for the rest of your life.
Why are you going along with this nonsense to begin with? Just say no thank you and talk to whoever you please, in whichever way you want.
He thinks you are going to have sex with your family and that you shouldn’t have rights. This is fucked up. It sounds like a really dangerous relationship for you to be in.
Yes OP it is a double standard
Sounds to me like he is a jealous and a jealous guy is one of two things. Hiding something or has zero self confidence. Either way nothing good will come of it.
Absolutely a double standard. He also sounds very controlling on top of jealous. I am amazed that this was not discussed long before you said “I do”. You need to have a discussion about expectations ASAP ’cause this should not be any kind of issue. You hubby sounds like he is a minefield.
If you know the definition of double standard, you could answer your own question
Yes. These are double standards and he sounds disgustingly sexist. My husband wouldn’t *be* my husband anymore if he said any of those things to me. Even if I could look past what he said, I would now know he’s a sexist asshole. His distrust in women is alarming. Some of your responses are equally alarming. You tolerate it to not risk a fight???
He’s sexist. He believes women shouldn’t have rights. It doesn’t matter if he changed his tune magically the moment you threatened divorce.
He still *believes* women are not equal and less than. There’s some things worth fighting over and about – like your husband believing/telling you he doesn’t believe women should have rights and doesn’t trust you to speak to male relatives.
Fuck that guy.
in your “husbands” mind, you’re property. This will only get worse
What I mean is believe in yourself. You do deserve a life too.
Why are you married with a misogynistic asshole? Was he like this when you were dating? Did he express these thoughts?
So let’s say you get your confirmation that it’s a double standard. Now what? Do you think that will change him? He knows, he doesn’t care. Your choices are to leave or accept it because he’s not going to change.
Are you afraid of him? What would happen if you didn’t follow his rules?
Ok. Here’s my thoughts:
I’m a human. I’m a 53 year old woman. I’m an old fashioned simple girl.
But it’s important to have friends and family. It’s important to have time to talk to them ALONE. Communicate with your spouse. And he should also trust you. You should know your family and know if it’s OK to talk, trust or be alone with them.
I love to call my sister and talk about the memories of growing up together. I call and tell her about the difficulties of life too.
I call my girlfriends and talk to them. I call my brothers and ask about plans for events, who they call for handy work and all. And you know what? I like doing it in private and without being stared at or corrected or anything when I’m in the mood to laugh, complain, look for support or walk down memory lane. And my husband allows it!!
Yes, this is a double standard. He wants to isolate and control you and he does not believe you have rights. This man is dangerous. Above all, do not have children with this man, and divorce is your best way out of this living hell.
He’s married to a woman but don’t believe women should have rights? What does he think you are? Definitely not human like him.
It’s the “women should have any rights” for me. Girl why are you with him?
Why would you stay with someone that feels this way about women?
lol, delusional
>He said because he can’t trust me
He doesn’t trust you with your male FAMILY members? What?
>If he felt this way then he needs to divorce me. He changed quick when I said divorce…
Why did you accept this ‘change’? The man has told you multiple times what he thinks of you and of women generally. Why do you still want to stay married to him?
Why are people entertaining this troll??
yes this is a double standard but that is honestly the wrong thing to be so focused on in this situation
This has to be a troll. If no GO TO THERAPY! Reddit cannot fix this level of dumb.
OP no one is answering your question. Because it’s silly. We want you to care more about yourself and your own safety. Than a double standard. You care more about what you want to be just a double standard. When in reality it’s your relationship that has everyone shocked. It already has major red flags all over it. These are what people see from your posts.
1.My husband feels that Women shouldn’t have rights(Your the Woman in this case)
2. He’s exhibiting controlling behaviors
3. He insists I’ll conduct inappropriate behaviors with not only other men but your family members as well(I’m not physically as interested because his red flags be a turn off)
4. You don’t even care about the potentially dangerous situation your in and how it’ll play out once he feels like he’s done with you being overly opinionated
5. But…. None of these things should constitute me leaving him. It’s not him being controlling that’s the issue it’s only the double standard that’s getting between us.
Answer: Yes it’s a Double Standard.
I’m sorry, but, you keep getting mad at people for not answering the question but they’re doing that for a damned good reason.
You’re focusing on the tree and everyone is focusing on the forest. The problem isn’t if you are right or wrong on whether he has double standards.
The problem is that you married a major sexist and misogynistic PRICK and anyone here with a shred of self respect is going to point it out to you.
You need to get your head out of your ass and get out of this relationship.
You married this guy?
Omg the comment section is wild lol.
Ok OP. I think I kinda understand you. You are not afraid of him but you are afraid if this issue will escalate and you will be the one to suffer your anxiety and you lose peace. I understand all that.
You want an answer. And yes he is who you think he is. Now what?
I don’t know if anything happened with you and your family members that made him not trust you. Nevertheless this is not a healthy relationship.
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with something like this. Don’t talk to your male friends. And gradually it increased and it gave me depression. It took me years to even understand that he was abusing me cuz for a long time he made me think like I am the bad one in the relationship cuz I get angry. But he was a manipulative person, he Gaslighted me all those years.
And something like this could happen to you too.
Fight back or at least separate for a while and see what happens.
And reading all the comments… You sound angry. Everyone here is trying to help you but you are like
