I recently started having sex with a new girl. She has communicated that using a condom is a hard boundary for her and that’s totally fine with me. I did have a 4.5 year relationship (ended about 6 months ago) in which we never used a condom. So I’m not entirely used to it.
The first time we had sex, I was a little drunk and it was great. We did it twice with a condom both times.
We have tried two times since then and I will immediately go soft as I go to put the condom on. The last time I knew I was psyched out because I thought about the last time I went soft with the condom.
She has been very understanding and patient about it—tells me it’s nothing to worry about. But I desperately want to fix the issue. I did have some problems staying hard early in my prior relationship, I think it was nerves. I am definitely going to try new condoms (currently using durex real feel non-latex) to see if it helps. I’m average sized but I wonder if the condom is too tight and/or too thick. It’s labeled as “thick” on the box. I’m just realizing I know next to nothing about condoms due to almost never using them in the past.
Any advice is much appreciated!
7 comments
The skyn condoms are the best ones on the market imo. And yes its your nerves. When that happens to me i just try to breathe more deeply and focus on that for a little while.
Is she against everything with out a condom or just piv? Might add a little more foreplay to get the motor running before you bag it and see if that helps
Nerves is a totally valid reason, as is the act of putting the condom on taking you out of the moment. I ended up taking tadalafil for a couple months until the nerves took care of themselves, but the condom step can still cause me to lose my erection momentarily, thankfully my partner is very understanding, we’ll step back to some foreplay with the condom on till I’m ready to go.
I’d deff recommend picking up some different condom brands/sizes, I tried a ‘thin feel’ brand for a change thinking the extra sensation would help, but found them too narrow for me, which made the putting on progress more problematic etc.
Its a matter of building new habits. keep trying and itll eventually work.
Condoms come indifferent diameters. Too slim and it will squeeze the blood out and you go soft.
Find one that stays on but doesn’t make it feel as if your penis is in the grip of an anaconda.
Ask her to put the condom with her mouth to have extra fun
Use viagra it’s great since orgasms are way stronger (for me)