Okay so I recently had a etopic pregnancy that resulted in a miscarriage with my toxic ex. During this time I went on a gaming page to try and distract myself and try to get me moving along. I ended up talking with this guy and he was amazing, truly. We started talking more but we never met even though we were close. He is in the military, and he deployed before we could meet.
So we were talking, and he is love bombing ALOT. So I did ask him to tone it down. Now I have alot of toxic behaviors I am unlearning, so I didn’t want to open up to this guy. So I tried to self-sabotage and told him I was mid miscarriage and I wouldn’t be a good fit for him romanticly. He literally picked up each of my attempts and said basically Said “okay, let move forward together ”
We talked for a solid 2 months (while he’s deployed) and his communication did suck. But he would be waking up and I would be going to sleep. He had his own issues so I would accommodate to them. He’s an overthinker and he needs reassurance regularly and some ways I would message would make him question himself.
So I don’t want to make this long so I’ll get to the point. We were talking regularly and I tell him I am 100% committed to this to him I want to make this work I want to see him. And this guy, who was ALL love bombing for 2 months straight just goes dry! So I’m thinking that maybe he’s busy so I continue trying.
He doesn’t message me for 3 days! Like I could see he was playing one day! So he just wasn’t responding to my messages…So the 3rd day I told him I got the hint. I wasn’t going to continue to message him and to be safe where he’s deployed. He messaged me later saying I had a lack of confidence and that pushed him away. (Delsite 6 days earlier he told me he loved me and wanted me to love him back! ) and he said he wanted to see me fully confident. And no word since.
I need a reality check. I don’t understand how I had a confidence issue in the 6 days when 4 we didn’t even talk!! I don’t get it. Was this my fault? I can give the actual messages if they help. I just need some clarification. I want to message him again, and ask where it went wrong. I want to grovel. But I don’t feel like I didnt do anything wrong! Anything would be appreciated.