Having kids makes time for sex difficult. Specially when one kid has medical issues.
We never had time to get much of a sex life. 4 months after marriage she wanted to get pregnant and it happened.
We have had sex of course but a spontaneous sex life hasn’t happened since we got married 8 years ago.
I have a lower libido now so I don’t want it as much as before but I miss the spontaneous part. Like right now I’m
Horny. Wish I could take her to our room and eat her out and make love to her.
But it will just be a fantasy. Sex gets complicated because she wants us to shower just before sex. So we must put the kids to bed and then we have to make sure I kid with medical issues is ok and then one of us has to shower and then the other one and then we can have sex. Many times my wife is too tired to get going once the kids are in bed.
But that’s life with kids. Hopefully things get easier in the future
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Any chance you could find a way to get away for a day or two? Stay at a hotel, even if it’s relatively close and have sex at random times during those 2-3 days.
Have you tried setting a bed time for the kiddos?
I would suggest talking to her about starting bedtime around 7:30pm. One of you guys can put the kids to bed while the other clean up. After the whole night would be for you guys.
I think you are describing something that’s true for many.
Make it happen!
The problem is not having kids. It makes things more complicated for sure, but it’s always possible to find a way around it and make it happen. I have two kids, married for 13 years and have sex regularly. For what you described, your wife is just not into it. She’s not prioritizing your sex life. For it to happen and be good it must be a two person effort. You have to talk to her, convince her of the importance of having an active sex life as a married couple and ask her what you can do to help. Honestly, having a good sex life is beneficial even to the kids: having sex = happiness, happiness = not divorcing, to have parents stay happy and married = great for the kids development.
When kids are sleeping with parents the marriage is falling apart. It just doesn’t make any sense because divorce is much worse for kids then sleeping without parents.
This feels like your novelty wore off. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry to say this but you guys have been using the kids to basically save this Marraige not from a divorce but from actually facing each other. The kids don’t have a hard time falling asleep without you guys, you guys trained them that way but not parenting. I would start their and the Marraige part of it can have space to be saved .
It doesn’t *have* to be this way. Healthy & consistent open communication can go a long way.