I have many many issues with this friend. He’s extremely cold and probably a sociopath, at least towards me. I always feel insecure about our friendship. It’s too complex to explain it all. But the truth is that we talk on the phone for hours every day, for years, so I want to think that he doesn’t *hate* me. However it’s like he’s with me out of obligation and as soon as we’re not together again or hang up the phone he just ignores me, like he’s tired of me.
He always takes forever to reply, hours, sometimes he’ll just never open my messages. But he’s often online and I can see how he connect several times an hour and my message sits there unopened, and I just can’t understand it. Who is he talking to? Why is he ignoring my message? Does he see it and think “how annoying”?
For example today he took the day off work to be with me. I live very far away and every now and then come all the way just to see him for a few days. Even though him taking the time to be with me would be considered the bare minimum, I still decided to send him a message to tell him I appreciate it. This was 6 hours ago and he never opened it. Even when just a 3 word reply would suffice. But he’s been on messenger, Instagram, Snapchat, so he’s clearly talking to others, just not me.
Sometimes when we’re together and he’s on his phone I can see him opening messenger or Snapchat and see that my message is the only unopened one, and I just don’t understand why.
Like I said this is just one of the many things he does that make me feel this way. I’m very sensitive and he’s extremely apathetic. He often talks about how he has no feelings, and often he can be very cruel and uncaring (he probably has some social disability and really needs therapy). But he’s not like this with everyone, from what I’ve seen. I’m his only really close friend so I have nothing to compare it to. If he connects every 20 minutes he’s clearly talking to other people, but why does he ignore my texts? I’m sure he doesn’t hate me because no one talks to a friend who lives out of town every day for years out of obligation but this sort of behavior makes me feel very insecure and overthink, and I’ve cried myself to sleep more than once because of behavior like this.