Hi all, I (29F) have found that in the last 6ish months that my libido has completely disappeared and I don’t know what to do or how to improve it. I live with my partner and feel bad for him that I just have no interest.
I had the Mirena coil inserted last April but still had a sex drive in the Summer of 2022… I think it started to disappear in about September. I was away for work for a while, and away to my family over Christmas and also had some surgery so don’t know if any of this has had any impact.
I stayed with my family after surgery while I was healing but came back to the house I shared with my partner a week ago.
Since then I’ve just not been able to bring myself to have sex with him… and he mentions it or tries to come onto me every day and I just don’t know what to do. It frustrates me that he does and I just want a couple of days where it’s not hinted at to destress but it always comes up. I think this weekend I’ll have sex with him, I’m just hoping that I will want to and it won’t just be out of obligation.
How can I improve or increase my sex drive? I don’t know what to do. Please help.
8 comments
Make out with him and see where it goes. Talk to him and just explain what you said here. It is totally understandable.
See your physician. A sudden vanishing of libido isn’t typical. You should rule out physiological causes. Are you on any new medications? Have you fully recovered from surgery? Is there something mental/emotional influencing this change?
Unfortunately, there are no magical solutions. You need to find the cause in order to deal with it.
You also need to explain this to your partner. Things happen in life that can upset our bodies. Your partner needs to know where you’re at. Not explaining can cause more difficulty than having an honest conversation. Your partner is likely wondering what’s wrong. Did they do something to cause this? Talk about this.
The best thing that you can do is to just be honest with him. Let him know that it isn’t him, and that you will work on it. Go to a doctor, do some research on any medications, including the birth control, to see what may be causing it. There are a A LOT of prescription and over the counter meds that can impact libido.
I was on a medication for about a year and a half that totally zapped my libido, and it took my SO calling me out on it, to finally go see someone about it. We also reviewed some OTC meds, and two that I took with some regularity also contributed to the problem. Partners are a lot more understanding, when you are making an effort to solve the problem, rather than putting it off. Mine still isn’t back to where it was, but with some foreplay and put a little effort into it, I can get in the mood a lot easier. If we have sex with some regularity (every day, or every other day) then I find it easier to keep the ball rolling. If we take some time off, I have to build back up to it.
When I got my mirena, my doctor said it would take 6 months to really effect my hormones, so I bled, etc. Maybe that’s what ls happening? If it started in September maybe your bc is effecting you?
Quite typical for hormonal contraceptives, I also see it as normal that it took a few months. It is one of the most common side effects.
You can only get rid of it to try and see if it makes a difference.
Maybe try a copper IUP?
Remove the coil and try another contraception. I had the same coil and it severely impacted my sex drive. Sex drive came back after it was removed altho it took a couple months
It’s the hormones. Switch to a copper IUD
When i took hormone contraception i thought i was a sexual. I stopped and within a month i was hypersexual. Hormoes are libido killers, get rid of it for a month or 2, see what that does.