I’m a 28 y.o female living in the US, but I was raised in a conservative country so I didn’t know what it was like to have a FWB until very recently. I know this puts me far behind the curve, but it is what it is.
Even more recently I started letting him finish inside me, but every time he does that he falls asleep very fast. He says it’s because it feels better this way and I love feeling and hearing him while he’s ejaculating, but immediately after he goes from super passionate/animalistic to fast asleep in a minute and I’m not sure how I feel about that
I don’t know how to bring this up without ruining the mood or honestly even what to say, to be honest he’s quite out of my league, the sex itself is mind blowing compared to anything I’ve had before, so I don’t want him to distance himself from me. But I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me at all…..
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That is absolutely 100% normal man behaviour. They pretty much all fall asleep after they cum, especially after passionate sex. Cuddle up and enjoy that you made him so satisfied!
Men are wired that way. Not all, but most.
We orgasm, the hormones get released and we feel sleepy. While the sleepiness colan be overcome, the animalistic side just gets put aside anyway.
(Most) women on the other hand want to talk a lot after orgasming…
It’s unfortunate the nature works like this, but it is what it is.
If you want to enjoy more of the animal, try edging him, prolonging the time before he cums. Or simply working on satisfying you first, then let him cum, then fall asleep together.
Listen closely. After he cums inside of you quickly jump up and begin to pound on your chest and let out a huge roar, functionally becoming King Kong. At this moment, your bf will realize that he is Godzilla in this situation. This will awaken the inner radioactive lizard/dinosaur inside of him. On another note, if he likes mechagodzilla better, feel free to tape a blinky light to his forehead for the ambience and visual aid. Now, you simply jump on top of him and he’ll know its on. This works every single time.
At my age I am glad I don’t die of a heart attack after sex. We men need our sleep after.
Be extremely proud of yourself! You knocked him out cold. That’s a good thing. He is not being insensitive as the orgasm for him is literally extremely draining. When he wakes up, he should be a soft and sweet teddy bear before Godzilla returns.
NyQuil pussy
Sounds like you are catching feelings. Beware.
Men metabolise oxytocin really quickly and the sensation after it’s been metabolised is fatigue. Take it as a compliment but it’s also biological.
Women don’t metabolise oxytocin as quick (providing they cum) thats why they don’t get tired as fast.
I would be flattered if my sex put someone to sleep lol
The sex was so good that he fell asleep.
Men often fall asleep after they cum, it’s fine 😂 you sound like you are a little more into him than FWB though.
Pretty sure they are biologically designed like that so you can go find another mate to procreate with to give you the best chance of having a baby.
If you don’t feel satisfied, you should set up a little system where he satisfies you first, through oral or otherwise, then the sex is the topper that’s satisfying for both of you. I know for me, I don’t get tired after sex, but I don’t always have a lot left, so I’m sure so try to give my girlfriend at least one orgasm from fingering or oral alone, either before or during sex
If it’s just that you’re bothered that he falls asleep and that’s the only issue, as others said, it’s fairly standard behavior. Don’t take it too personal, it isn’t a bad thing
You mentioned it was mind blowing so it sounds like he’s at least pleasuring you too right? It would be different if he were selfish but it sounds like a good time. Many comments are saying “men are just like that” As a woman I’ve passed out after as well especially when it was too good and intense. But a man falling asleep without trying to get me to orgasm would piss me off
I can’t tell if the problem is that he falls asleep instead of satisfying you (or satisfying you further) or if it’s the cuddling/talking you’re missing?
I will disagree with all the ‘it’s natural for a man, take it as a positive’ though. My FWB is all man, and yet somehow manages to communicate that he needs a shortish timeout (yes, even a nap) but is more than able to continue our session after that. If your guy is knocked out forever by one orgasm, I’d say that’s not actually so normal and also not much fun. It’s more likely he’s selfish than naturally comatose.
Do you feel bad about it or ?
You say out of your league, what does that mean?
Also if you’re gonna talk to him about it you should be specific and deliberate with your words to avoid misunderstandings or you just might push him away. So what exactly does bother you about it? If he makes sure you are taken care of/have a good time as well and this is just a FWB situation then what is bothering you?
Do you want it to be more?
>I don’t know how to bring this up without ruining the mood or honestly even what to say
“I feel sad (or whatever emotion you’re feeling) whenever you fall asleep right after sex. I need more aftercare.”
I actually came on top of my BF once, we were both a bit drunk and it was late. It ended up with me fallin asleep on top with him still inside (he had not finished and got compensated next day). It actually felt good and both of us felt it was a cosy experience. Is it because he is FWB that you don’t appreciate it since you become more intimate?
You should take that as an incredible compliment. That being said what are you hoping to get out of him not falling asleep? Are you not getting satisfied and need more sex? May be worth focusing on your orgasm first if he gets tired after cumming.
I can definitely reinforce the fact that as a guy, you get tired after cumming.
Well, you do count too you know. I would talk to him about it. Sheesh, can’t he cuddle some or allow you to clean up some before snoring away????
Every time he does that it’s like you receiving a gold star.
You aren’t out of his league. If he’s there with you, you’re in his league. Don’t let him have that power over you… unless that’s your thing.
Communicate. “Hey after you cum can we cuddle?”
It is pretty normal so ask him to pleasure you first. If he refuses to do that then it’s not ok.
Guys get tired after we cum. I thought this was common knowledge.
This has become kind of a trope for a reason. Prolactin and oxytocin can be a bitch. If you don’t want the fun to end, be clear about that in your actions. You absolutely can power through.
You put him to sleep. That’s good.
That’s a good thing lol, it means you’ve got a good snatch!
i’m still mind blown that y’all be spending the night with your fwb’s I go home right after we finish or I walk them to the door.
I’ve been invited to stay the night or cuddle I always decline .
Men and women release different sets of hormones during sex. Generally speaking, men get sleepy, and women get hyper. Try to find some info about it.
🎶Pussy put his ass to sleep now he callin’ me Nyquil🎶
I’m a man, and while I have heard of guys falling asleep immediately after orgasm, I’ve never experienced that sensation or need myself. I usually get up, get towels for clean up, pee, maybe shower, and get back in bed… I’m not bragging by any means, just offering you perspective that its not all men who are hit with the need to conk out….
If he is not immediately getting up, looking to use the bathroom, and leave your place in a short amount of time…take it as a compliment. However, if it is bothering you, I would just let him know how you feel, so you can hear his reason why he feels comfortable falling asleep with you soon afterwards. Personally, I’d take it as a compliment that he trusts you that much to fall asleep with you.
You must have really good pussy. Be proud
What about it bothers you? If the sex is amazing, why does it bother you if he falls asleep afterward? It means that he’s satisfied and exhausted. Falling asleep after sex is relatively normal for a lot of people.
That most likely means that the sex is good and he’s happy and satisfied. A lot of men feel drowsy after sex. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal at all, just ask him nicely if he can cuddle you a little bit and pillow talk before falling asleep.
Been married for 28 years, talk to him the next day. Tell him how you feel,communication is everything. If he’s gonna be your life partner.
>I didn’t know what it was like to have a FWB until very recently. I know this puts me far behind the curve,
Huh? Behind what curve? Not everyone gets into a FWB situation. Some people want or prefer a committed relationship where they feel comfortable sharing their wants and needs with their partners. As in, ask your dude for aftercare or cuddle time after shagging.
I’m 37 year old virgin and Ben seeking for that fwb special friend. No luck yet though 
I call this my super power.
It’s bittersweet.
I try not to take it personally but sometimes it does make me feel crappy. I try to tell myself that it’s not “about me”. Because it really isn’t.
Are you catching feelings?
I am amazed at the younger guys….I am in my 50’s and would often meet up with my friend around 9:00am, have some good sex and then go to work 11-5 or 6. In the heat. Or work a full day then meet up, bang one out and get a second.
You young guys should be able to bang one out, get a drink of water and then hit it again…makes me wonder what their sex life is going to be like when they are 50.
My boyfriend does the same and frankly so do I, lol. It’s nice though because he stays inside me and then we just sort of drift off asleep together while he goes soft inside me.
Communicate with him. You might also want to make a post defining “beyond your expectations” because truthfully your expectations may be flat rock bottom.
You also don’t need to push things down and hide them and pretend that your feelings don’t exist; talk to him about it. FWB or relationship or even normal platonic non-sexual friendship *you ALWYAS need communication*
For a guy to pass out that quickly means that he tried really hard to please haha, the effort is there
I’m confused, I would think this behavior is quite complimentary to you. You have made him very happy and comfortable.
What would you prefer he do instead? Are you looking for conversation or snuggles? Why are you unhappy about this?
The post-sex hormone rush for men is very sleep inducing. I think this is super common.
Honestly, it sounds like a bit of a win to me. He’s comfortable enough with you to fall asleep afterwards. My FWB gets awkward and eventually kicks me out lol
I skimmed some to comments, and it sounds like mine is going to be a little different.
Firstly, you’re not behind the curve with anything, everyone decides to do what they want when they want. Friends with benefits wasn’t something I could emotionally handle for a long time. And then I had a life event, and decided to go for it, but sometimes someone never gets there or just decides it’s not right for them.
It sounds like you have just reached this level of intimacy where he is finishing inside you, and you have some needs of aftercare in the form of some cuddles after. That’s valid, but also, if he hasn’t been doing this previously, this may be a boundary he maintains in order to not “catch feelings” so you have to be ready for that as well.
In summary, like yeah being tired after is normal, and you can definitely ask for some aftercare in the form of cuddles, but due to the fwb arrangement, it might be a no? And then you’ll have to decide if you can deal with that and want to continue.
women get high after sex. men sleep after sex. its nature.
so get your intimacy needs met before he comes. or else get used to staring at the ceiling while you hear him snore in bliss.