hi! My boyfriend m,20 and I f,21 have been together for 6 years. the relationship is smooth and awesome, but as time passes by i feel less satisfied during sex. it’s not about the frequency but the quality of sex. ever since the pandemic, we weren’t really able to see each other often, so i opted to use a toy to cope. and now that we see each other at least once a week and have sex, i don’t feel as satisfied compared to our sex before, i think i was used to the toy and that i prefer that over my actual boyfriend.
what should i do? i don’t want him to sense anything and i would never want to make him feel that he’s not enough.
10 comments
Umm talk to him? Like communicate how you used the toy and as such what he can do that works better for you
>i don’t want him to sense anything and i would never want to make him feel that he’s not enough.
This is the mistake so many people make. The fact is, he ISN’T enough, at least not anymore. Healthy emotional and sexual relationships need honesty and open communication to thrive. Trying to hide the fact that he doesn’t do it for you to protect his feelings is robbing yourself of YOUR needs. You need to talk to him about this, introduce the toy into your sexy time, show him some things that you like that he hasn’t been doing. And maybe after you open up, he will feel like he can open up too about things he has maybe wanted but hasn’t asked for. Most couples that struggle with sex cannot get over the fact that they feel weird or embarrassed talking about it. Do you want to use toys? Tell him! Do you want to try butt play? Ask him to try it! You only live once and not even attempting to try things you think you might like is a disservice to only yourself. The worst he can say is “no” and you are no further back than where you started.
“I don’t cum from sex, only from my toys” is such a common statement on here and I’ll never understand why they’re mutually exclusive. Fellas, let me tell you, it feels really good to slide in and out of a vibrating vagina.
If you don’t want to hurt his feelings, telling him he isn’t “enough” Is the best way to not accomplish your goal.
Try being a little risque…ya know? Like a quickie in the family bathroom at the mall. Or in the care on a parking garage. And also look into buying a vibrating pleasure ring…it a c*ck ring that makes his love below vibrate…I would go for the ones that cost at least $40 or more. Because they not only have lev’s of intensity settings. The are strong enough to actually make his manhood vibrate like a toy…and they usually have clit stimulators buil into the top of them. You can usually find them and your local drug stores or Walmart and the like. I would order online because youight want to experiment with a few different brands to see which one works best for you guys. You could also type in vibrating pleasure ring or vibrating c*ck ring into any porn sight and see it in action just to know about what your getting into. Hope this helps!!! Good luck!!
Maybe suggest using the toy with him
Incorporate the toy in w the sex.
Also, try asking him for oral, it hits different than vibrator, so maybe that’ll be your orgasm provider with him.
Or, quit using the toy, idk.
Use the toys during sex
I use to cum so easy with sex and clit Stimulation.. and when I masturbated I used just my hands!! Then 2 years ago 1 started using the rose!! Like 6 months of using it I noticed I could not cum with just my hands or a partner anymore… really sucked… I stoped using it.. super hard in the beginning because no matter how hard I tried I did not cum… after three weeks I started coming with my fingers again still took longer than usual…. It’s been 8 months since I’ve used that soul sucker lol and I’m back to my normal self !!! So I say that to say this your body gets used to the toy so that’s what it associate itself with a orgasm!! At least for me
Maybe find a way to get the “best of both worlds”. When a man is having orgasm trouble he’s told usually one of two things, either laying off self-pleasure entirely (which basically takes away his body autonomy, so not my preferred advice for either a man or a woman here) or to “edge” himself – to self-pleasure right up until the point of the big O and then stop. Let the sensations build and build and then subside, keeping himself just on the edge of orgasm so his body and his mind are both right there in the moment and just needing that ONE little extra thing to reach orgasm. Perhaps you can do something similar – identify your “point of no return” where orgasm becomes inevitable and keep yourself JUST short of that so that when you see him your body is ready to go, your mind is hungry for that rush and you just might find your excitement and hunger for him returning.