My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years now. We are in a long-distance relationship for most of the year as we are both in school, but have summer (3 months) and winter break to see each other.
We really clicked with each other from the start, we have similar senses of humor, similar interests/hobbies, and similar life goals. We talk every day during the school day, and then call/play games together all evening/night. She is really great, we laugh together and get each other, and have talked a lot about our future together. When we hang out in person when we both are home, we have an amazing time together and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
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However over the last year or so, when we have an argument, she has gotten a lot more difficult to resolve things with. She has become more and more in the mindset of “I’m right, you’re wrong”, and if I disagree with her, she just tells me that I’m “not listening” or I’m “defending myself”, and gets mad at me for that. She almost never apologizes for anything, and she doesn’t acknowledge that she does anything wrong.
About 85% of the time, she will get mad at me no matter the issue, and wait for me to apologize and take the blame for everything, and then make her feel better. The other 15% of the time she takes all the blame on herself and gets very sad and depressed about it.
About 6 months ago I brought this up with her and told her that I just want her to work on not going from 0 to 100 and instead just talking about our issues and trying to acknowledge my side. I don’t want her to start apologizing for everything or anything like that, I just want to be heard every once in a while. However, its been 6 months and I have brought it up multiple times and nothing really has changed.
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It just sucks because almost every argument we have, it just gets so out of control and then she just gets mean and doesn’t let me have a side in the issue, and then she is just mad at me for 2 days. Every time. I am a massive believer in the fact that relationships are two-way streets and both people have different perspectives that can contribute to issues, and I just want a relationship where that is recognized but most of the time it just feels like a one-way street; her opinion is always the answer.
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I don’t really know how to feel about this. I have given her a lot of time to work on this and I have been respectful of the time that it takes to fix issues like this because it’s not easy to fix it just like that. But its been 6 months and it seemingly just keeps getting worse and worse and I feel like its just building up inside of me and any day now I won’t be able to take it anymore. I just absolutely hate it because she is my dream girl, we get each other so well and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I also can’t imagine putting up with this my whole life.
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Is there something else I can try to help her with fixing this or are these red flags that I am failing to realize?
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TLDR: My dream girl has been having a hard time owning up to her mistakes and realizing that our relationship is a two-way street and it’s slowly driving me crazy, but she is really amazing and I do not want to end things with her so just unsure of what to do.