This happened last Friday night. I had been talking to this guy for around 2 months and since im not allowed to have a bf we never made it official, but we were basically dating. Last Friday i decided i was ready to lose my V. So i invited him, making sure my family was out of the house and everything. I had assumed he would agree (ive given him head 3 times). But when i had brought up what i wanted to do he immediately got all tense, and literally as i was on top of him he says “im gay.” I got off of him after like the shock of it and he starts to explain stuff i cant really remember what he said (my mind was racing). Im in love with him. I just dont know what to do. Ive been on break thankfully but i go back Monday, i haven’t talked to him since. I guess my main question is should I try to make things right? Honestly I feel sick of the thought of seeing him, but i dont want him to think i dont accept him, i know for a fact he hasn’t told his friends so he has no one to talk to. Im also just humiliated and stressed, i mean if a gay guy chose me what does that say about me?
What are people going to think? Im in no way homophobic and attracted to the same sex as well so i get how confusing sexuality can be, but i dont know if i can bring myself to support him when he lied (?) to me. Sorry for ranting but i feel bad for being upset and just need an advice on what to do/how to feel. Thank you so much.
tl;dr – bf admits hes gay, how do i respond?
4 comments
You respond by ending the relationship and letting him live his truth.
And you need to rethink the way you’re letting this make you feel. You’re assuming that he lied out of malice rather than out of fear of what others would think.
He probably felt like you were someone he liked a lot, felt comfortable and safe with.
It actually says a lot, like your probably a really great person. It was wrong of him to mislead you, and hopefully he can atone for that, but I thin offering compassion in this situation will go a long way.
He probably didn’t know he was gay himself or was in denial. He needs acceptance. Tell him how you feel, then be his friend .
What’s with this comment section!?
She doesn’t have to support or be his friend. She doesn’t have to be okay with what he did. Like, her feelings, her hurt, just doesn’t matter because he’s gay?
He can live his truth without her. She doesn’t have to speak to him ever again if she doesn’t want to.
I seriously don’t understand why she has to put herself on fire just to make him feel good. He’s gay, doesn’t matter, he still lied and lead her on, he still hurt her. She can hate or not forgive him.
Also, who tf tells someone they’re gay while having sex with them? Talk about trauma.
And he did lie, he led her on, he hurt her and no one knows if he was gonna tell her. You being gay doesn’t erase your shitty actions towards others.
You don’t have to talk or support or forgive him if you don’t want OP. You were hurt and lied to, focus on yourself and your own healing. He can deal with his life on his own as long as you don’t out him. That’s the only thing you owe him, other than that, move on and cut him off.