me 22f, him 22f
i know what i huge problem. thing is we dated back in highschool for a year, and broke up when i went to uni (i broke up with him). and after 3 years we just got back together a month ago and things are going great.
The first time we dated i kinda felt like things wouldn’t last because of our life journeys n stuff and knew one day i would probably calls things off. i also had a huge mental rule about saying “i love you” and wanted to wait til we had dated for a full year to avoid saying it prematurely. its dumb i know. but we broke up before either of us said it.
now i feel like the words are crawling up my throat and i want to say it so badly and i am so in love with him, and thats terrifying to me. i dont ever want to have him out of my life again and i want a life with him so badly.
anyway i feel like its way too soon to get into all that talk about being in love amd wanting a future together because i dont want to mess things up again. its just getting harder not to tell him.
tldr: i love my bf and that scares me, and im worried its too soon to say “ily”. any advice???
4 comments
also yes i have a therapist
>any advice???
There will be no negative consequences to you saying it before he’s ready to reciprocate it. If he’s not a massive jerk, he’ll say “I really appreciate that and you, but I’m sorry, I’m not ready to say those words yet. We’ll get there.”
Don’t be afraid of telling someone you love them. If you want things to progress in your relationship, he has to know how you feel, and hopefully he will also be open and honest with his feelings.
There is no limit to how much you can love, or how many people you can love. Your connection to others is like a collection of ropes of all different colors, sizes, and materials. Your connection to him will be different than your connection to other people.
First of all, congrats! It’s always nice to find something you’re excited about!
I don’t see any problem with saying how you feel, as too often we don’t get to speak our mind until it’s too late, but if you’re really that worried about saying “I love you” too soon, then I suggest simply taking a deep breath and enjoying what you’ve got going on, clear of worries regarding the future. Try not making it about *not* saying “I love you” but find other ways to express it until you’re ready to say the words your heart feels.
Also, this is all coming from a guy who’s historically been the first to say “I love you” in all my relationships, not least of all my present one. Longest I ever went without saying it was probably a month anyway, so even if you do wind up blurting it out, it won’t be the end of the world haha Best of luck to you!