So I (18F) have been having sex with my bf (20M) for a few months now. He’s the person who took my virginity, Ive yet to cum while with him though. He’s given me head and has fingered me/rubbed me. I’ve communicated and have tried to show him what I do, but even when he’s doing pretty much everything I ask, it’s not the same as me doing it. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting somewhere and then it’s gone. At first I wrote it off as performance anxiety because I am a very shy person… but now it’s more embarrassing and frustrating than anything.
Then penetration itself feels good, but at the same time it’s not a “distinct” feeling and I’m not even sure it’s possible to cum through that. Unfortunately my bf and I long distance atm so there’s not a lot of opportunities for us to experiment.
I’ve masturbated with clitoral stim for years because penetration by myself was too nerve wracking for me. So I waited till I could do it with someone else. Since my first time having sex though, I’ve bought myself a couple toys to experiment and see what I like so I can use that experience with my bf. But there is no difference with penetration. It feels good but also feels like nothing, or underwhelming. And I can never finish with it.
My bf will try for so long and I feel like I’m kinda letting him down, idk if it’s anxiety or some mental block or something but it’s definitely made me very self conscious. My bf doesn’t say anything or shame me over it… he’s been very understanding but it’s still something I cannot get over. Any advice would be welcome.