Because of my past issues with trauma, I’ve developed really bad social anxiety, and i’m often scared of speaking to people, so I struggle alot with speaking to even friends or my boyfriend in person.
I don’t want to seem as rude to people, but I just often rarely speak in social situations with my friendgroup, and I always feel so detached from them all, especially since one of my friends had been such an asshole to me, that i’m scared to say anything because i feel like i’ll get ignored or insulted.
My boyfriend is part of this friendgroup, and I feel so shitty because of how I act around him, I’m so nervous to even speak or look at him, and I don’t want him to feel like I don’t love him.
I really do, but I prefer being alone with him 1 to 1, since it’s just easier and I feel like he’s more focused on me. He usually speaks more to my friends, and I’m always quiet. We usually play videogames (Mainly Overwatch and sometimes Apex) together and just VC for hours since I find it easier than face to face conversations.
I really want to go out with him more, but I’m anxious of asking and I don’t know when to tell him about my social anxiety. I don’t want to loose our spark simply because of my poor communication skills, any ideas?