Hey folks,
I (36f) have been married for ten years to husband (43m). We have two kids, one of which is a baby. I haven’t worked since July and the nature of my work makes it uncertain about when I’ll get a gig again, although I work really hard daily for that to happen.
Either way, he’s been doing all the heavy lifting financially/working, and I’ve been doing the heavy lifting with our kids. House stuff is pretty much shared.
I appreciate the heck out of all his hard work. The man WORKS, and he provided a nice life for us. But he has mentioned that I don’t do much to show that. I feel the same way, to be honest, but instead of being petty and perpetuating the cycle, I’m going to break it by doing nice things. Here’s where I need your help. What are some nice things I can do for him?
Husbands, are there things your wife do – or that you wish they did – that show appreciation?
12 comments
To be honest, the biggest appreciation I enjoy is when my wife takes the children and meet a friend and I get a few hours for myself.
And I try return the favour when she meets her friends and I look after the children.
Being parents is an awesome feeling, but everyone needs a break occasionally.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Kudos to you for breaking the cycle. I’ve come to that realization before, that I’m not showing my husband what I wish he would show me. Someone’s got to go first 🤷♀️ Why not me?
For my husband, it’s a lot of the little things, which probably vary person to person: making sure I have his favorite drinks on hand and offering them to him in the evenings; tackling something undone that has been bugging him; setting up a special time for trying something new sexually; offering a foot or back rub.
😝😝👅👅🍆🍆💦💦💦
I have this struggle also.
For me, I try to do little things to let him know I see him. I get the coffee maker ready the night before so all he has to do is push the button in the morning. I don’t like coffee so it’s something I do just for him. I also try to make his favorite meal sometimes. I’m a big fan of GIFs and I send him one of a heart or love themed almost every day around his lunchtime so he’ll see it. Just letting him know I’m thinking about him.
For me, I love it when he does a chore without me asking. He works 60+ hours a week and I’m a SAHM and our dynamic is I do the house work (minus the yard, which is his domain) the majority of the time and don’t ask for him to help with that. So I feel really seen when he does something I normally do without me asking. Even as simple of a thing as loading the dishwasher. I notice it and appreciate it. Maybe do something he usually does for him?
I think it would be good to know his love language.. like is he more I want words of confirmation about what I do, is he an act of service or gifts?
I can tell you as a man praise,sex,food and not overspending most important sex!!! We are ot complicated or imaginative keep it simple.
Take him on date that he would like. Then give him a BJ
Ask him what he wants
Happy husband here. Thank you for all your appreciation for your hard working husband. Seems nowadays men are guilty by default, and appreciation is ridiculous. That being said, all a man needs is affirmation that he’s being a good provider and protector, which is his reason for living. Reinforce this belief. Also make good food for his belly, that’s one way to his heart. Third, gently ask him to talk about his day, he needs to have a sympathetic ear. Finally, ask him how he wants you to be sexy, including hair, nails, skin, lingerie and makeup… Be the heavenly creature he wants to make love to. All the best.
For me if my SO just verbally expressed appreciation for what I do would be enough 90% of the time. Throw in a good dinner and most guys I know would be over the moon.
I would want her to be relaxed and not do some extra work around the house .
Would mean a lot to me if we could cuddle whilst she rubs my head or back , maybe throw a few kisses here and there 😜 .
Makes me feel like a king 😌
I applaud you for trying to bring more joy into your home! Sometimes I have to remind myself to be a peacemaker and play nice. I asked my husband for advice and he reminded me of love languages. I think there’s like five or so: acts of service, words of affirmation, etc. give that a Google and then bring it up to your husband. The best way to show him appreciation is in a way that speaks to him.
For example I’m into acts of service. Nothing makes me more happy than my husband helping out around the house. When he does the dishes, it legit warms my heart! I would rather have him wash the dishes than give me a gift.
Ask your husband what language rings his bell. It’ll be a wonderful conversation starter. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you even care enough to ask. ☺️
Edit: typos