Struggling with the concept of getting into the dating scene. I’ve been with my husband since I was a teenager and have never been with anyone else as he was my first for everything. Well fast forward to today, 15 years later, where I’ve found out he has been cheating on me throughout our whole relationship. We’re currently separated and although I’m absolutely no where near thinking about dating, the thought of eventually getting back out there is so terrifying. I’ve never dated. My confidence and self-esteem has been completely shattered. I can’t help but to think no one wants to be with a 30 something year old single mom. Any others with similar experience with some advice?
9 comments
You are only thinking that because of your self esteem being shattered. Once you are healed and ready to date again, you won’t feel this way. You’re still young and trust me alot of men don’t mind dating a woman with a kid.
Heal first, and it’ll come naturally. Don’t worry you’re not the only one going through the same situation
Don’t worry. I became a single parent with joint custody 50/50. There will be those that won’t be comfortable with it and those who are in the same situation. You’ll be fine 👍
If it’s any consolation (I’m not a single mother, I’m a male who also just left a decade plus longer marriage while being in my 30s), I’d date a single mother because it’s a good indicator of where her priorities should be at. That’s she’s had a life and expectations and that what’s important is very clear. It’s a sign of strength and not a mark against your opportunities! I’m sorry for what you have gone through though but you made a choice that will make you stronger and your family stronger. Good on you!
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you, too.. You are not alone, because this is my problem/issue as well. I had been with my ex-partner for 11 years (since we were 15), and we have a kid together. The break up was not a good one since he left me for someone else.
I know you are scared that no one will love a single parent, but believe me.. there are people out there who will accept you for who and what you are. But in order to have a new healthy relationship, you have to heal first and moved on from your past. It is not going to be an overnight process, so take all the time you need on improving and getting to know yourself again. By loving yourself first and making positive changes, you will naturally attract the right people who will appreciate and love you for who you are. So, be patient, trust the process, and have faith that you will find the love and happiness you deserve. Hugs, mama! x
Therapy first to heal and build back up your confidence. Take your time getting back into the dating world.
Hi! I’m a single mom, 23. I was really devastated when my baby daddy decided to end everything. At that young age, it really took my mental health downhill pretty fast. I took some time to heal myself and move on from him before I threw myself into the dating scene. It really helps me to build confidence but it’s not gonna be as easy as all other single ladies without a kid out there to find a partner. So when you are ready to meet new people and ready to start dating, better state your condition clearly cause that’s pretty much helping for selecting people.
I wish you a good luck and the greatest life you ever ask!
What does your therapist say?
Divorced dad here and my ex was my teenage sweetheart as well. The dating scene does seem terrifying.. but I can say dating a mom would be way easier than anyone else. Its hard for people who haven’t been married or have kids to accept that you devoted your life to someone before them, which justifiably is concerning for them. Also in a shared custody scenario other parents are conscious of your schedule and probably more apt to be fine with weeknight dates 🙂
Definitely take time to process and grieve the relationship especially with the reasons it has ended. Im 2yrs out from mine and it ended as amicably as possible and is still hard. Now is a great time to get to know the you that you’ve become 😁