How do I ask meaningful questions?
How can I make my brain think of something?
Whenever someone comes up to me and try to get to know me, it is one sided, my brain is blank and can only respond to their questions. Is it appropriate to ask their same question?
I grew up where I am only friends in school but outside acquaintance. I got so used to my way in high school and where I grew up, that I now only learn new things in college what outside friends do.
2 comments
Find a common interest. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but it is also a near-necessity to making friends. Talking about the weather is only going to get you so far. Depending on the size of your college, you have great potential when it comes to making meaningful relationships!
One mistake I made is that I practiced “people pleasing” in order to get closer to others. DO NOT DO THAT! Friendships cannot be bought and are not transactional. They are earned and nurtured.
Yes, conversations should be somewhat reciprocal, so if they ask you “what are you studying” you should answer but also say “what about you?”
But you can also ask questions like “what made you decide to …. “, “what’s your favorite thing about… ” or if they’re talking about something you’re not familiar with you can ask for more details.
I’ve heard that the Queen of England would always ask visitors “Was it what you were expecting?” in a genuine way. That gives people the opportunity to tell a story like “well, I thought it would be like this but it’s actually like that” or “it’s even more like… than I was expecting”. It’s a good conversation starter.