I struggle with looking directly at people for a number of reasons. I feel like this severely impacts the connections I can make, and it even applies to some photographs. I just can’t look at people. It feels inappropriate to do so. Can anyone who has gone through anything similar tell me how they overcame it?
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I haven’t completely overcome it but I try to mentally remind myself “look at their eyes. Look at their eyes”. I get so distracted (I have ADHD) so I just accept myself for who I am at this point. I don’t care what people think of me if I can’t hold eye contact. Stop chewing , breathing, moving etc so I can focus 😂
It took some learning for me since I’m on the autism spectrum but what helped me was realizing that people can’t tell if you’re looking them in the eyes or between the eyes. Then just looking at one eye, not even trying to look at both.
The real trouble was learning the right amount of looking as to not become staring. I still zone out just looking at ppl sometimes lol
Something that helps is asking yourself, “what is this person seeing when I talk to them? And what would they like to see from me?”
The person is probably seeing how awkward it is for you to look them in the eye. They’re probably seeing how uncomfortable you are to make eye contact. They’re probably seeing you fidget and place yourself in weird positions. They probably wish they could enlighten you on how the situation is actually normal and common and comfortable, and maybe you’re too in your own head.
Eye contact is not inappropriate at all. Believe it or not, it’s kind of rude to not look people in the eye when they talk to you. You don’t have to stare into their soul or look them in the eye the entire time. There is a balance to it. It shows respect. It shows you’re listening to them. It shows you’re not distracted and you’re paying attention.
I like to look at them, nod at times, (show them I’m engaged with what they’re saying with facial gestures and such), I look away, maybe look down or at the wall to show them im processing the information, and casually look back at them. I give a head tilt throughout the conversation, or I’ll cross my legs and wipe off the dust on my shoes before I turn my focus back to them… its an ebb and flow.
All people give a shit about is that you display *some* form of confidence in yourself. Because it can make a person very uncomfortable or not want to approach you, if everytime they talk to you It’s like pulling teeth.
Nofap.
I feel the same way. like I have to KNOW This person like my mom,best friends; I sometimes look people in the eye when talking to them and look away really quickly again and it makes the situation 10x awkward.