I (24m) ask this because it seems that alls my friends care about is getting laid or chatting to girls. If we go on a night out together this is their sole purpose for the night and it shows, they stand there scouting the dance floor like a bird of prey scouting for its next meal. I have quite a big social circle and the vast majority of my guy friends are this way inclined. It would be nice to meet some guys similar to myself who don’t really see the appeal in casual hook ups, been there done that and it wasn’t really for me.
Edit 1: So some of the answers here have been very eye opening for me. A lot of you are expressing just how important getting laid regularly is to you. So it is clear that people such as myself are the outlier. I have had plenty of one night stands but that was mainly due to peer pressure, they always felt empty to me, like they was lacking something. I resonate strongly with demisexuality but I do not wish to use any labels.
32 comments
Not much. Certainly not enough to actually put any effort into it.
I was that way until I recognized the damage that it does.
Now, as an older man…I realize that it took away a lot of time, effort, and progress from me making real progress in general life.
If I could go back…I would get my experience from 17 to 20…and then focus on cultivating a solid foundation for stability in life.
When a person is doing good things in life…it attracts good people, which puts a meaningful partner around your path without the foolish chasing and emotional sludge of hookups.
As a 39 year-old widower? Not much at all. A few times/year, I’ll get the itch to have sex, find a one night stand, and then go on about my life.
As a 24 year-old single guy? I enjoyed meeting new people and going out on dates, and that frequently lead to also hooking up.
I’m currently getting laid.
My opinion on sex is that it’s good, and I’d like to have some please.
Lol I’m pretty much like you I think. Personally I’ve had five longer relationships and five casual encounters. The sex in the LTRs was WAY better, because we had time to learn what each other liked. And while a nice animalistic romp is fun, I prefer it to be with someone with whom there is some deeper emotional connection. Just makes it that much more engaging.
Never cared, really. Only been in one relationship/marriage, with no casual hookups.
At that age…I cared a lot. Now, I still care, but it doesn’t rule my life.
I care more about intimacy than just sex, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all. Being desired is refreshing, especially once you get to a certain age. It isn’t something I need all of the time, but when you start to go months or years without, that will have an effect.
I went out to not be home, socialize, get fucked up and have fun. I didn’t give a shit about getting laid although it did happen. My party nights were fuckin adventures and I was just along for the ride.
Depends on the alternatives. I’d pass on seeing a movie to get laid, but I’d pass on getting laid to attend a symphony.
I don’t care that much honestly at least not anymore. I like looking at women and appreciating their “assets” but for the most part I don’t care about fucking like that unless I’m actually in a relationship with you.
Not at all. Had my fun, but around the age of 26/27 it became a void. Don’t regret it, but there are more important and fun things to do. At the end, the hunt was more enjoyable than the sex.
Bruh sex is my only real release tbh. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t really play video games, I don’t really see tv other than like very few select shows.
Like I do hang out with my friends and we play soccer and go eat and shit, but tbh Sex is really my only outlet.
I was always in a relationship during those times so going out and trying to get laid wasn’t a thing. Now I’m 29 and single, been single for about a year. During the first couple of months of being single, all I could think of was how to get laid. Watching porn only made that issue worse. Now I’m more on with being single and focusing on improving myself and reaching the goals I set out and if a woman shows up in my life that is worth it, then I’ll try to get laid.
I’m too antisocial to go out of my way for it, but it would be cool to be able to get laid as often as possible
I’m in a sexless marriage and it’s literally the only thing in life I care about.
I care about finding a partner more than getting laid. I wouldn’t be into it if I didn’t actually like the person.
I have a girlfriend with a very high sex drive, so I care about “getting laid” very little, because it happens regularly.
When I was a little younger than you, I had a similar mentality to your friends. But I learned that not only is it wildly counterproductive to act that way, it also takes a massive hit to one’s emotional health. I learned that it was far better for me to be my normal self. When I went out, I’d talk to women like normal people, I’d fuck with them the way I would my friends, and I’d show them the same level of attention I showed my guy friends. I didn’t shower them with affection or come on to them, mostly because I didn’t want to fuck them, I just wanted to have fun.
Made my nights 1000% better and I had a lot more opportunities to go home with people.
I care a lot more about having the companionship of women than I do about the sex.
But it’s weirdly more socially acceptable to portray it as being about sex.
If the option is offered then heck yeah, but I’m not fretting over it. Focusing on better things.
If you’re dating someone who you actually like being around, it feels fine to wait to get laid. There’s no rush because you will want to see them always anyway.
If you’re just looking to get laid with anyone, you will get laid and wonder why you even bothered afterwards.
I’d like to have it but I prefer to develop friendships and deeper connections before engaging in sex. I personally just can’t do it unless I feel like I can trust the girl who’s with me.
A lot, it’s a natural drive to have, to deny it is to deny one of your most basic needs.
Not remotely. I’m shit scared of sex and ain’t trying it unless it’s with someone special, and I ain’t met that someone yet. Also strangers being sexually interested in me just gives me the ick
I care, but not enough to put any real effort into it, other than dating apps and hoping to meet someone at work, both dont work so I stay sexless..
As a married man? Honestly, not that much. Sure, sex is great. You know what’s better though? Going to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch hockey together while you cram down chicken wings, and laugh about the stupid crap in your day.
I’ve lived my entire life without it (40 years) and I’ll last another 40 without it. I’m sure sex is nice but it’s not high on my list of priorities and never has been.
I used to in my 20s but now? I just don’t give it a shit. Just focus on my self and my hobbies
I feel the same as you,
I absolutely still think about girls, but only relationship wise.
Hook ups don’t interest me
Some men attach their entire self worth on how many women wanna sleep with them. The sex drive exists and it’s fvcking powerful but if you cant control yourself what’s the fvcking point?
I stopped hanging out with a friend who would pass comments about how he’d “fvck a girl” he would see when we were out clubbing or going other places together. When i asked him to go talk to one of them, loser couldn’t do it. Imagine, not having the confidence to start a conversation with a girl but then boasting about how you’d “fvck her and make her cum”. Fvcking loser.
I’m 25 with my fair share of hookups, if it comes my way organically, fvcking great. If not, I’m not going out of my way to get it. Try a little by flirting, making the conversation interesting, initiating physical touch? Sure. I do all of that. But standing and staring like a loser from the sidelines? Fvck no.
I wish I cared about sex less than I do.
I feel like I’m at the age where I’m supposed to be just focusing on myself and my career or whatever instead of caring about getting laid. But my stupid monkey brain cares about it, anyway.
I think part of the problem is that I’m nearing the end of my 20s and feel like if I don’t get in all the hot hookups in now, I’ll miss out on a lot of fun experiences before having to settle down.
People in religious circles are generally less interested in one night stands. If you’re not opposed to church, try attending on Sunday morning or joining a religious group to meet some likeminded people. I’m a Christian and have found men in church are more interested in friendship and relationships than pointless sex.