I (24F) have no idea why but i cannot stop snapping on my boyfriend (25M) we started our relationship almost 3 years ago on really bad terms and somehow worked through all our issues. We have plans for a future together like this moving in together, marriage,getting a dog etc, but recently i just snap on him at the smallest things, i just can’t help it he is constantly irritating me. Is this normal ? i feel bad after but not enough to apologize. I’ve had trust issues because of him in the past and i’m not sure if i’m resenting him for it or if this is apart of a rough patch.
TL;DR Can’t stop snapping at my boyfriend.
8 comments
You abuse your partner, won’t even apologize, and blaming the victim while pretending you have no power over it. If he has a past of doing bad things to you, then this is an unhealthy relationship for both.
Both of you need therapy and most likely should break up.
That’s why people need to work on themselves first. Also don’t be with someone who annoys you just by existing.
I think not every relations is forever. If you don’t have feelings for him, it might be good to explain without further ado. Or you can point out the points you don’t like and wait for him to correct himself.
sounds like unresolved issues, both within yourself and in this relationship. i suggest couples’ counseling as well as seeing your own therapist–one for the relationship, and the other for your personal issues.
Communication is key in any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with him about how you’re feeling.
Are you together all of the time? Live together and spend most of your free time together? My partner and I moved to a new town recently and we only had each other for company because we didn’t know anyone else. We were constantly bickering over ridiculous things. We needed space from each other and to have separate hobbies and interests, once we got that we went back to normal. Maybe that’s the same for you?
Also, seems like you may have not fully healed from the time he broke your trust. Depending on what that is, it might be time to revisit that and try to work to resolve that. Or if that’s not doable then you need to consider if staying in the relationship is the best for you.
No. Constantly snapp8ng at your boyfriend is not normal or okay and you should end the relationship not make grand future plans.
>we started our relationship almost 3 years ago on really bad terms and somehow worked through all our issues
Well, have you? You say you’ve had ongoing trust issues, it seems that in general you have nearly no patience for him either… like it feels to me like there are clearly aspects of what you went through that did take a more major toll.
And be real: this relationship brings out the worst in you. You don’t even apologise despite awareness you are being reactive and toxic, that is how far gone you are. Is this who you thought you’d be by your mid 20s? Is this the adult life you expected, jaded and petty and mean?
Just reflect on that. If there is damage that goes deeper you ought to consider therapy or at the very least some real soul searching to dig it out. Because as is while you acknowledge there is a problem I don’t think you really grasp just how bad it is or how you come across as a result of it.