S/o and I have had a complicated relationship.
We both come from bad backgrounds of all sorts of abuse and addictions. (Drugs, alcohol and porn)
One of two that still affects us both today.
To put it bluntly, he fucked up quite a few times. I finally left and when he realized he TRULY lost me, he wanted to make things right.
I still struggle alot with the damage from the choices he made, even two years later. (I have cptsd ontop of this)
I made an appointment for couples counseling next month. I’m not sure if its worth waiting and if things can be fixed…I’m not perfect, thats why I started therapy when we started dating..
Ilove him dearly, but I fear that love isn’t enough and if it isnt, then what is? When do you stop trying???
TL;DR Rocky relationship and wondering when you both should stop trying.
4 comments
Honestly. If you need to make a post about it then I think you already have your answer..
I mean, the only way to trully know if it’s worth it, if it’s the best for you and the so-on relationship you have, it’s up to you pal, everyone has struggles, yes, but also everyone can make them their own burden and bring them back up or choosing to leave it there, i know addictions are one thing but what i’m trying to say is that whatever the case may be, it’s that if there’s damage within you, you don’t have to go through something you don’t want, see deep inside you how you feel, what you want, who you want, having doubts it’s okay sometimes but if you need anything we are here for you
whenever this sentence happens:
“i love him/her, BUT….”
there’s an issue.
if there isn’t an issue, the sentence ends before the “but”.
counseling is all you can do. either you can resolve the issues or you can’t. only time will tell. if you both commit to it and do the work, you may be able to salvage the relationship. even if you do, it may not work out anyway.
but any situation has hope when both people are invested in solving the underlying issues.
good luck.
Relationships shouldn’t be hard. Your partner should make your life easier and better.
You struggle at your job and to make ends meet and to recover from trauma and to escape from addiction. Why struggle in your relationship too? It should be your safe place where you heal, not another battleground. I think there is a lot to unpack here about why you think you don’t deserve peace or why you’re attracted to someone who’s a mess, but that’s for a therapist to work out! Go find someone who brings you peace and comfort.