Casual dating just hasn’t been cutting it for me. Sex tends to be mediocre and the guy cuts things off right when it feels like things were getting real. I hate feeling like I’m a source of free sex instead of a real/valid girlfriend. I also don’t want to go without sex. I understand I’m not “owed,” a relationship, but dating hasn’t been cutting it for me. My needs aren’t being met– not even close. So how can I make it a more fulfilling space to be in and has anyone else experience something similar?
Edit: I already put in my profile that I’m looking for something serious, but casual dating is the default. Despite what I put in my profile guys will always push for sex on date 3 and when I go “off script,” or the sex isn’t 100% they end things.
Edit: I’m wanting to withhold sex more because I don’t want to be used for sex and idk how to set this boundary. It just feels like whenever I communicate a need, the men just don’t listen, idk how to explain it but they would rather follow the dating script than communicate.
Edit: I don’t really feel empowered (F26). It feels like I have to wait *for the guy* to want something serious and in the mean time I’m always “looking,” for something real. I have to play the casual dating game per default until someone wants something serious. I want to feel more “in control,” ( for lack of a better word) of my dating life and the directions that things go. Is this just a sign that I’m not that attractive and that’s why guys won’t commit?
2 comments
>I already put in my profile that I’m looking for something serious, but casual dating is the default.
Create a guy profile. Read through all the bios of all the girls in your age and looks range. Find even *one* who says she wants a casual, NSA, FWB arrangement – that isn’t a bot or scammer. The answer is none. *Every* girl writes they’re looking for something serious because no one wants to look like they are easy even if all they really want is something casual.
DTR negotiations happen *after* sex. Don’t think of it as free sex you’re giving away, you like sex too. Once you fuck, then come to the table to negotiate a relationship. If they leave the table, then that’s their right. You can leave too if the sex is mediocre but the guy wants to GF you.
Sounds like you have mature needs, real objectively acceptable relationship goals you’d like to meet. So project that. Most casual daters may be deterred by someone who has their priorities in order and stare exactly what they are after. Which in turn will come off positively to those who want to build something overtime and not for flash bang of a moment.