In 2015, when i was 22 I dated my ex for 2 years until I looked through his phone.
I saw he was texting his friend about his other *girl* friend and how he could basically hook up with her if he wanted to. The text also said “he could but he’s loyal…” Which honestly offended me it hurt me so much. Obviously nobody wants to see their boyfriend say he could fuck his friends. But he showed me who he was.
That’s who he is. So I left him, and he wanted me and tried until he saw me with someone new and gave up.
I dated a few people for a few years in 2017/2019 and he dated others too.
Now I’m 29 and we’ve been friends since 2020 when we got back in contact after some other things happened…
He’s obviously made himself available to me and he texts me happy birthday at midnight sharp every year and he messages my family about needing me and missing me. and I can’t help but feel so much attachment and love for him. Like maybe we could work out… but then i remember who he really is, and why left.
I end up depressed in my room and feel like life is pointless… like all men are like this so I might as well choose the love of my life who hurt me. Should i give him a chance or just move on and save all this heartache and overthinking? It’s like his bare minimum is everything to me… and i can’t stand it.
TL;DR. Should i rekindle and try again with my ex who I left almost a decade ago? Or move on because the history hurts too much.
4 comments
“Hey, should I stick my hand on this hot stove and take the risk of scarring myself for life?”
It’s never a good idea to act out of desperation.
Don’t lose sight of your worth. You will find someone that appreciates you for who you are and compliment that. Stay beautiful lovely!
Tbh I had to read the first paragraph a few times to see what he actually did wrong. He just text his friend about hypothetically being able to fuck another girl if he wanted to, and he said no cause I’m loyal to my gf? Sounds like he didn’t really do anything wrong lol
I can imagine how jealous you would’ve felt imagining him having sexual feelings about someone else, but tbh he said he was loyal to you and it seems like through the years, even without being your bf, he has been.
I think if you still love him you could give it another go now that you’re both older. Just communicate exactly why it hurt you so much to imagine him fantasising about someone he knows and hopefully he will take that on board and try to respect your boundaries a bit more.
I also think you should respect his boundaries by not going through his phone. Why did you in the first place? Did you feel like something was off in the relationship or were you just feeding your own insecurities? If you go looking for trouble you will find it lol, if you’re ever experiencing insecurity in your relationship you should try your best to talk through it with your partner and see how you can work together to solve the issue.
If you’re both willing to put in the work, this relationship could have a chance