My boyfriend [23M] is addicted to porn. I [20F] never made the situation be about me, it’s just about the dopamine rush it’s like a drug. And so im helping him in all the ways i can. But today it changed that he said that he started comparing my body to that of porn actresses and told me that I’m not his type after a year of relationship and that he preferred it when I was super skinny. I’m not fat but I’m not a stick either.
I don’t know what to do after that I’ve never felt so insecure.
Do i change for him to make him happy? I’m feeling disgusted about my body now
TL;DR! : my boyfriend compares my body to porn actress bodies.
37 comments
Say that you checked out porn and his ween is pretty small.
Break up with the porn addict who is an asshole and get therapy to work on your self esteem issues.
Your bf views you as an object.
His porn addiction blinds him from seeing the totality of you. As a woman. As a person. As a human being.
Make of that what you will…
I’d be shook to have sex with someone who imagines someone else in mind just to get off or worse…thinks sex in porn is anything like sex in real life.
He’s using you to get off on his personal perversions at this point.
Again…make of that what you will.
Muster up some self-respect and put your foot down somewhere. There’s roughly 8/9 billion people on the planet; you can find a guy with all the traits and qualities you find attractive in your bf _minus_ the porn addiction and all the…peculiarities that come with it.
P.S. don’t EVER in your life change anything about yourself to make _someone else_ happy. If you’re gonna do that, do it for you.
The right person would not be comparing you to porn actresses that your bf would have a better chance of winning the lottery than fucking, let alone meeting in real life.
Ditch this loser. You are a vessel that he exercises his addiction through. Nothing else. You are a sentient crackpipe.
I would leave him and never look back. This is asshole behaviour.
>Do i change for him to make him happy?
No. The answer is always no.
Also the problem isn’t that he’s comparing you to a porn actress, the problem is that he’s an asshole who says you’re not his type.
Do yourself a favor and find somebody who loves you for you.
Hun, have you told him you would prefer a man that could make you cum like in porn?
I’m sure he is lacking in that part, like 100% sure.
This “man” doesn’t deserve you & porn is a fantasy world. If he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t deserve you.
He will continue with this shit until your confidence is completely ruined. Please for your future, your happiness, and your lifelong enjoyment of sex do the right thing. Get away from him. He is hurting you.
Fuck him fuck him he doesn’t deserve you he so obsessed with porn that pretty soon he might want to act out some of the scenes if your boyfriend can’t accept you for your body why are you still with him move on find a real man that will love you no matter what you look you deserve better
Your boyfriend sounds like a real ballbag and that he needs to be shown the door. Whatever your body type is right now, its YOUR body type and you deserve to be admired and loved for it. Dude is objectifying you to the highest order and probably objectifies all women to at least the extent of putting value in their bodies far over value in women’s minds, content of character and basically as people.
DO NOT EVER let someone determine how you feel about yourself or your body. I know that is easier said than done, but you have to be your own best friend and accept yourself. Dude sucks and needs to go
I think you meant to type EX. Please do not accept this! Totally ridiculous. You deserve better EVERYONE deserves better. Full stop.
I was expecting this was going to be about him saying “oh baby your body is so fine you could be a porn star, you’re built like *insert pornstar*” and it made you uncomfortable or something
If you let him see you naked, and he’s talking shit, you need to give dude his walking papers lol
If you want to get in better shape it should be about how YOU want to look or YOUR goals. Don’t do it for someone else only because it makes it hard to last long term
Your boyfriend is delusional to the reality of porn. One of my good friends is a very well known porn star. Through my friendship with her, I’ve met some other very famous porn stars. Let me tell you what, the makeup artists and lighting people do an amazing job. Their bodies look nothing in real life like they do in pictures or videos. If your boyfriend is comparing you to them, he has fully bought in to the facade and fantasy of porn, which is exactly why it sells.
Tell him his body will never look like Terry Crews’ and move on
Break up with him. He’s not the only guy around. You deserve better
I hope you do the same.
Everyone s an actor nowadays.
Good luck
I would have an honest discussion about how this makes you feel. Make him understand how this hurts.
If you don’t get an a reasonable answer or he just rejects your feelings I don’t know what else to say apart from to break up from him.
Over time, this will just hurt you and make the relationship more toxic. I’m sorry you have to go through this.
Being a porn actress myself this upsets me because it’s so common and at the end of the day, he should love you for who you are, not for who he jacks off to on his phone.
No. The answer is always no. Also the problem isn’t that he’s comparing you to a porn actress, the problem is that he’s an asshole who says you’re not his type. Do yourself a favor and find somebody who loves you for you.
Drop him and trash his micro dick and bald spots on the way out. After a bit, go to a club stick your thumb out wait five seconds for the next suitor to try his luck. You’re young to put up with shitty boys and try for a more mature man who will treat you right (aka a guy who’s more mature mentally and not necessarily their age).
Good luck.
First, he has the addiction. Porn ruins natural dopamine receptors and he is ruining his and your sex life. All that is on him. Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with you. You sound like a lovely young lady, who is stuck with a douche nozzle for a boyfriend. My advice to you is, let go of this current toxic person from your life, and set a course for a new destination, and begin thinking about breaking up or going separate ways. Lastly, comparing you to porn Stars is one of the most unfair aspects of any relationship. Its disrespectful. Most porn stars are fake. I’m hoping you’re all natural. No man should ever do that to a woman. there’s more to a relationship than just comparing bodies. Plus bodies change over time. Wishing you well for a successful outcome from this situation. Go find the new you.
Sounds like he’s an asshole with a serious problem. I’m sorry he’s said those things to you and please don’t take them to heart. But that’s so fucked up to say to a woman, I’d suggest finding a man that’ll love you the way you are.
Dump him. Life’s too short to waste on assholes who criticize your body.
You’re not his type? Good. He can get someone else to shit on. You have your whole life ahead oh you, don’t waste another week with this creep and stop making excuses for him.
oh my GOD please have self respect and dump his weird ass
Dump him! Into the dump, where he belongs!
Don’t try to change him because you can’t do it, He has to. Seen and heard about more than enough people who come here saying they wasted their years trying.
Wtf. Your bf is comparing you to someone who doesn’t even exist. Those bodies are altered by surgery, perfect lighting, perfect posing and perfect editing. You will never look like any of them because you are a beautiful REAL human.
You need to leave asap. Porn addiction has statistically been shown to increase ED in men under 35 and decrease their satisfaction with their partners appearances and their own sexual experience.
Porn also depicts an incredibly selfish form of sex where women’s sexual needs or realistic experiences are often overlooked to focus on the man.
Dump him and let him be in love with his women on a screen.
Leave. He’s shown you who he is, believe him.
People can be really shallow and you have to ask yourself if that’s the kind of person you want to be with. I agree with others though – counselling will help with the insecurity. You will get older and experience and perspective helps a lot with accepting and loving your body but you deserve to be with someone who thinks you are beautiful. Im willing to guess we aren’t talking about a 50+lbs weight gain and total change in health and lifestyle.. slight fluctuations in weight are a part of life.. and everyone ages as well.
I’m sorry. There are so many good guys out there. You deserve a guy who is respectful !
You know even if he were comparing your body against less fantastical standards, he would be a shitty boyfriend. There’s no reason for you to feel like you need to put up with that kind of treatment.
I really hate to say this but your boyfriend doesn’t love you. He thinks of you as an object. This behaviour will just get worse and worse and he is going down a very dark path. Please see yourself as worthy and run away girl!
Please don’t feel insecure. I’m willing to bet that you look and are fine. His addiction to porn is probably skewing his perception.
So please, be healthy, stay healthy. Try not to overthink.
He’s the one that needs help.
What would you tell a close friend of they came to you with this problem?
Do not waste your youth on men who body shame you.
You’re trying to help him and he’s trying to give you shit self esteem and possibly an eating disorder.
You gotta leave, he most likely won’t change and this most likely won’t get better.
My ex-husband told me I was fat and that he was not attracted to me (three weeks after giving birth, mind you) and for some strange ass reason I stayed with him. All he did was cheat on me for the next 4 years until I finally left.
Either way he sounds like an immature asshole. You deserve better.
If I learned anything from being a duck boy since JHS is you could use sex as a powerful revenge tactic. My first baby mama still won’t talk to me. Do that
So tell him not to and to stop watching so much porn because it’s interfering with his sex life.
FUck this guy. Leave him and find someone that will treasure and treat you well.