How did you/are you healing from emotionally immature parents?

8 comments

1. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

   I don’t currently have the resources for therapy and also making myself go to therapy is super scary, but the big thing I did was read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It gave me a way to let go of the parents I wanted and deserved and accept the ones I have. Not accept the way they treat me, but accept that I’m never going to get the ones I needed. Letting go of that idea that maybe they’ll change or maybe I can make them change was so important to me starting to feel better about myself and make the changes I needed to make for me. It’s not perfect and I have a long long way to go, but I feel much more capable of handling it.

2. Ideally, a skilled counselor would be the best start for you.
   There are some good books as well, but getting off on the right foot with a professional is the best bet to work through the feelings.

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5. I put myself back into the mindset that I had as a child and just how shitty my mom made me feel. Then I do the opposite and try to react the way I had always hoped my mom would. I’m not perfect but the first step for me is recognizing those behaviors that hurt me the most.

6. I have to remember that they are the way they are because they were hurt. My mother can act quite childish, my grandfather is the same way but to a higher extent. Neither of them were properly taught how to deal with negative emotions, so outbursts are common. It’s simply a matter of removing myself from the situation and returning when they are more rational, and using my own judgement on when to set boundaries, and when to let things slide off me.

7. Therapy. Lots and lots of therapy

8. Each of my parents is about 2/3 of an adult, and in different ways. Neither one could survive outside the partnership so I really had to teach myself how to communicate effectively and assertively, and grow up as best I could. Therapy on and off helped. Getting an actual diagnosis for ADHD at 32 helped a ton.