Or perhaps accept the fact that maybe she just simply can’t?
My wife and I have been together for almost 3 years now and been having sex for about half of that time.
But I have yet to make her cum through penetration and I feel like a failure. The only time she orgasms is when I rub her clit.
Our “routine” is usually some foreplay and then I go in and thrust for a bit. Get the mood going. Then I come out and rub her clit until she orgasms and I go back in and I finish. I ALWAYS try to make sure SHE orgasms before I do.
She doesn’t want me to go down on her because she finds it weird so that part is out too. She still finds it awkward when I tell her I like to see her pussy. She gets self conscious and doesn’t think it looks good so that plays into the part of not letting me go down on her.
We’ve also been trying this thing where right after she orgasms from rubbing her clit, I thrust since my thought was that it would heighten her clit orgasm through additional stimulation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Now she does enjoy some longer deep strokes. So like me going “balls deep” and then coming almost entirely out and then repeat. She doesn’t really care that much for fast thrusting. And she doesn’t like it when I lift her legs up during missionary because I apparently end up going too deep and hitting her cervix.
The issue is that I think if I do do the long deep stroke long enough, she could cum but it also makes ME cum sooner.
She tells me that she still enjoys it but I personally feel really terrible because I can’t make her cum through penetration. But I feel like it’s just her trying to make me feel better. She’s told me that it feels good but it’s not this “mind blowing” thing. At first I thought it was my sick size but she said it’s plenty big for her although neither of us have anyone to compare it to since we were both virgins before getting married.
And maybe it’s through societal expectations or porn that men are failures if they can’t make their woman orgasm through penetration.
4 comments
Not a lady. I do think that you should continue to try to work with her on accepting her body, maybe see if she’s eventually open up to oral.
Most women have trouble with – or never can – orgasm from PIV alone. Of those who can, it helps SO MUCH if she’s super turned on already.
Also, g spot stim can do it. This helps my wife so much.
Positions that can give g spot stim:
Froggy stye – like doggy, but her legs together, you are more above her and coming down. Really hard on your legs.
Her on her back, edge of the bed, you standing – bed need to be tall, so you are going at an upward angle.
Her standing, bent over like touching her toes, you take her from behind. This is one near-guaranteed orgasm position for my wife.
Modified prone bone – her legs are together, shes on her tummy. You don’t get deep penetration, but you get g spot stim.
Her on her back, you on your knees, back straight, have her hips up and resting on your legs.
Also, for what it’s worth – anal can give some women orgasms from indirect g spot stim.
>But I have yet to make her cum through penetration and I feel like a failure. The only time she orgasms is when I rub her clit.
Like the great majority of other women. This is normal.
Some women are able to achieve orgasm via penetration alone, but most can’t. Even if she can do it, it can take time to figure out what works for her, and it may require playing with angles or depths. I’d recommend she does some exploring on her own, using a dildo or vibrator. It is usually much easier to figure out the required g-spot pressure during masturbation. If she does manage to get there on her own, she may be able to translate that to something you two can try together.
>And maybe it’s through societal expectations or porn that men are failures if they can’t make their woman orgasm through penetration.
Yep.
I’m 56M, I’ll speak for my wife in that deep penetration works best. This happens most effectively during missionary with legs up on my shoulders, and doggy style. Regular spread-eagle style missionary doesn’t work very well, her knees need to come up and fold back.
My wife can’t do cowgirl style due to her size but some previous partners were able to cum that way pretty effectively too, especially by leaning down to rub their clit on my mound while grinding.
Look up Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) it works like a charm every time.